it’s been a while since i’ve taken personal finance. i wanna move out of my parents house in a few years, so i’m trying to estimate what it will cost me per month. what factors do i need to think about? obviously rent, utilities, gas money, insurance, groceries, personal expenses…

i guess what i really wanna know is how much it typically costs a single person, to get a cheap apartment and live on their own each month?
and i swear, if you spam my question with your financial scams, you will be sorry.

More than a year ago, we began working with a bank on a construction loan. After overcoming lots of obstacles, we are still without a loan. The big problem now is that the bank wants 20% down since it is a second home.

The idea was to build a simple garage with an apartment above it, and then build our dream home in about 15 years to go with this garage. We want to build this garage apartment so that we can be near my parents on weekends and holidays, but we won’t be able to move to be near them permanently until we can retire from work.

Some of the problems we have overcome with this loan:
1) we are both Self-employed – overcome by decent credit history
2) the garage was too small to find any comparables – overcome by making the garage bigger! Of course, this made the garage more expensive.
And a problem we haven’t overcome:
1) Since they want 20% down on a larger home than what we were planning, the bank wants more than ,000 down, which we don’t have to spend.

So now I’m looking for ways to get a loan to build the garage.
Ideas:
1) Get a loan to build an empty garage shell and finish it over the years without a loan — what kind of loan could we get?

Or any good ideas how to build this project without a loan?

Oh, and we own the land free and clear. And, we would rather not re-finance our first home if we don’t have to.

Sorry this is so long and rambling. I appreciate any ideas!

I can’t mow lawns or babysit. No one in my neighbor hood has a baby, and I know almost everyone. I have my own garden ,and I need 20 dollars for a new PSP screen, mines messed up. My parents are broke, they have no money. I can’t get money off of them. I doubt any of my friends would loan me money.
I can’t get a job because Im only 13 years old.
The church thats near me is volunteer and already pays someone for work , so I can’t go there.
Please help..? Thank you.

I’m going through a very difficult financial time in my life because my job of 13 years went bankrupt and I live in the state with the highest unemployment rate and my gf has at least a 750 credit score and 3 credit cards which 2 has zero balance on them of ,500 each and she gives 0 a month to her own church and she does not even go to any more. I asked her for a small loan of 0 and I’m making small payments back to her, last week I got a decent check and give her 0 but this week I got hurt and didn’t work as much and got a small check so I’m like short on bills and may go into overdraft on Friday if I don’t have the money and she will not give it to me for some reason. So I’m pissed at not just her but the whole situation of not having my own money but she keeps talking about going on trips and taking me to meet her parents and all this stuff but she can’t help me out with ?? I didn’t have to give her that 0 last week but I did.

The catholic church my parents go to always posts how much they make each week from the collections they take. The Sunday collection is usually over 00. I looked at their flier this past week and saw this. Then, under that, it said they had a heating bill of 00 that month. Now, at 00+ a week, that is over 00 for the month, Yet they said they need to take another collection to pay that, and that they "generally do not take in enough to pay the bills" (mortgage is paid, by the way) so the people need to give more. They also take separate collections every week for utilities (which should include heat), flowers, and maintenance.

So, with all that money, how can they not be able to pay the bills?

Or is it just more of their greed, and knowledge that they can feed off the brain-washed?
Keep in mind, it is a church, so they pay no taxes. And I am sure they do not pay the person that cleans a lot, minimum wage, I am guessing. (If that, and most likely only part-time)

i also need a car so badly because without a car im having trouble getting to work, school, gym, church and friends!! When i go to work 4am i have to wake my dad up to take me then again he has to come pick me up, its just a hassle and i hate bothering people even if that dad, mom, wife(if i had one), friend’s, no matter who it is i dont like asking people for help. I used to have a car but when my sister got a new car last year my parents ended up selling mine and said theyll get me one later, but now financially they cant afford another car and i know if i keep forcing them they will buy me one to keep me happy but i cant do that to them and put them in more debt. I’m only 20, i go to school full time and i’m working like a lotta other kids now a days anyways. I dont get financial aid, scholarships or anything, so i pay for my classes out of my pocket same with books, bills so on. All i work is 24hrs every 2 weeks i want to get more hours but since i dont have a car its hard. Everytime i try to apply for a loan no bank of lender qualifies me because i dont make 00/month. Im trying to get a loan so i can pay of my debt (00) and buy a used car for like (1500-2000 or less)…Please help if me find someone or some place that can lend that money. I sure will do payments every month without any questions asked!! I just need to find a place that will qualify me..Please help, please!!
Thank you so much..God Bless you!!

I am hoping to earn my master’s degree at a German school, but I do not have enough money to pay for the necessary intensive language courses, or for furnishing an apartment. Neither of my parents has good enough credit to take out loans for me, and nobody else in my family is willing to co-sign. Are any alternative options available to finance this, especially paying rent and buying furniture?

here is the setup for the situation, my wife and I lived on her parents property in a small trailer, we had purchased land and had plans on building a new house, but i lost my business and had to get a new job and we couldn’t afford to build, so one year passes, and on nov 04′ on the same day as my wife’s father told her mother that he is leaving her and moving in with another woman, I found out that my mother had terminal cancer, both of us went off to take care of our mother’s.
My mother passed in Dec 04, my wife and I fought about whether or not to buy my mother’s house, we had a ton of bills and car payments, and I had a deal too good to pass up, I got a house at less than half price, and was able to take out some extra to pay off all of our bills and our cars. The mortgage broker put the house in just my name cause they said it would be easier. That ticked my wife off even though i told her i could add her to the title. I was a jerk and tried to pull a ultimatum, move in with me or else, me and her fought a great deal, but eventually came to a agreement, I would live in the house and fix it up, while she would stay at her mom’s to help her through this time, ( the houses are within walking distance to each other) over a year passed and she became more and more distant, then in 06 she tells me that she wants a divorce, I told her that I didn’t want a divorce and I think we should try to go to counseling, she went to the church counseling twice and then quit going, and stuck to her guns that she wants a divorce, she has been treating me pretty crappy for two years now, the last time we had sexual relations was last December and again in June, on Monday she filed for divorce stating that we have been separated since Dec 04 with no sexual relations, (it matters in the state I’m in, have to have no sexual relations for one year). I want to keep my marriage together, and raise our son, but in the last year of this she has been acting more secretively, and has gotten to the point where she wont even have her cell phone around me…… so half of me think that she is just emotionally disturbed, and we can work things out with some help of counseling if she would just open up to it. The other half of me thinks that she is cheating, and just running away, the two houses are only a half mile apart, She has agreed to joint custody of our son, and wants no child support or alimony, she just wants the marriage over.(and she also agreed to take responsibility to the 13k in credit card bills she raked up in the last 2yrs since i paid off her 10k worth of bills, and her 16k new car when i bought the house), I believe in marriage, but I just cant think of any good reason to contest the divorce she wants. P.S., her parents still haven’t gotten a divorce even though her dad has been living with another woman for over three years now.,

My girlfriend Ann and I have been together for a little over 2 years and we have a beautiful baby girl together. Ann had gotten herpes prior to us being together and I took the chance to stay with her but she did admit this to me and let the decision be mine. Ann is now 25 and I am 34. Our relationship has been strained heavily from the beginning due to Ann always lying to me about big and small stuff. She has lied to me about talking to an old friend who she was talking to prior to us seeing each other and I found out that she was texting and talking non stop from morning till dark to him and had gone out to lunch with him on occasion. I have no problem with this, its just that she lied to me about it and when I confront her about the lying she makes it out that I am being controlling and over looking the fact that she lied. I have asked her to be in my shoes and she wont, I have female friends and I don’t lie about them and I think that’s fair. Ann had also lied to me about getting a new car and then one day showed up with a new car and said that her father bought it for her as a gift, turns out after several months that she had her father get a loan in his name and that she is making payments to him. My problem with this is that money is so tight and that she says that she doesn’t have money to help with the house payment and bills, but it turns out that she does. I will admit though that Ann does pay for our daughter’s daycare.

My problems, Prior to meeting Ann I went through a divorce and I started drinking a good bit. At some nights I would sit in the garage just to get away and drink. This drinking cost me 2 jobs and I got a DUI.

Now up to day, we recently lost our home in South Carolina due to foreclosure. I suggested moving to Pennsylvania with my parents whom I have not gotten to spend much time with since leaving for the Marines in 1994, getting back on our feet, attending church and me starting AA and we would move back to SC in 2 years. Ann said at first she didn’t want to leave SC and that I could move up and then she would bring our daughter to see me and we would still spend time together and be together but then agreed to it so we moved our stuff up one weekend, all but some clothing and came back to SC to work out notices at work. Well after a week I woke up one morning to find her grabbing some clothing and saying her father was there to pick her up. So she left me and wouldn’t even let me see our baby. I knew I still needed to go to Pa to get my life right and stop drinking for the sake of my children and for myself. Before I went to leave I wanted to see my daughter at the daycare, take her some diapers, and set it up for the daycare to bill me each month for half the cost of the daycare. Ann called the daycare and had them place me on trespass notice, but Ann then did let me see her the day I left to come to Pa. During those days and till even now, Ann ignores most of my text, and says now she isn’t sure what’s going to happen. She said maybe we could start dating when I move back depending on how I do about the alcohol. But why does she ignore my text and calls and make it hard for conversation. I failed to mention she is living at her father’s house now but she acts like she doesn’t have time to talk. It was never a problem when we lived together for her to text non stop or call people any time of the day. She deleted me as a friend on facebook and changed her status to single and put seeking just friendship but even though one of her friends told her to delete pictures of me and her she has still kept them up. I know this cause a mutual friend told me. I have now gone 3 weeks without alcohol minus the communion in church and have been attending AA classes every Wednesday. I now it’s not long but it’s a start. I have been blowing her phone up with text just wanting answers because I either need closure or something. I now found out that I have herpes also, and of course I got them from her. I have let her know this but I am not mad because it was my decision and she fairly advised me. I want to know what to do, I still love her and I have committed myself to not drinking, but I think she needs to admit to herself that her lying is not good and destroys trust. Does she still love me? Why wont she text me? How can I let her know I am committed to fixing my problems? I am pretty sure she isn’t seeing anyone but should I start seeing someone to get my mind off of her.

i also need a car so badly because without a car im having trouble getting to work, school, gym, church and friends!! When i go to work 4am i have to wake my dad up to take me then again he has to come pick me up, its just a hassle and i hate bothering people even if that dad, mom, wife(if i had one), friend’s, no matter who it is i dont like asking people for help. I used to have a car but when my sister got a new car last year my parents ended up selling mine and said theyll get me one later, but now financially they cant afford another car and i know if i keep forcing them they will buy me one to keep me happy but i cant do that to them and put them in more debt. I’m only 20, i go to school full time and i’m working like a lotta other kids now a days anyways. I dont get financial aid, scholarships or anything, so i pay for my classes out of my pocket same with books, bills so on. All i work is 24hrs every 2 weeks i want to get more hours but since i dont have a car its hard. Everytime i try to apply for a loan no bank of lender qualifies me because i dont make 00/month. Im trying to get a loan so i can pay of my debt (00) and buy a used car for like (1500-2000 or less)…Please help if me find someone or some place that can lend that money. I sure will do payments every month without any questions asked!! I just need to find a place that will qualify me..Please help, please!!
Thank you so much..God Bless you!!

A week ago, my parents packed a couple of suitcases and moved from here on the east coast out to Las Vegas. Something happened – something gambling-related I suspect – and now they are stranded on the street in Vegas with no money. My brothers and I sent what we could, which wasn’t much (definitely not enough for a hotel room) and now we are all wrung completely dry. They are the black sheep of the families they came from so it’s hard to get even relatives to help. My brothers and I have a history of having to borrow money from friends to fix their mistakes and now none of us have anyone who can/will lend us anything. The American Red Cross wouldn’t help because they aren’t victims of a natural disaster. The church near them directed them to a homeless shelter, but the nearest shelters are too far from the hotel they just left for them to walk to. while they have a few dollars for food, there is no money for bus or cab fare. Besides, the shelters are in parts of town where they’re likely to get mugged and if their cell phones get taken, we’ll never know what’s happening to them.

My father is a Vietnam vet, but the nearest military base is an air force base (he was in the army) and they told him there was nothing they could do. He has a pension coming, but it isn’t due to come in for weeks. He has used his vet status to take out loans from the military in the past, but he can’t get anymore because he currently has too many out. We tried to get them a payday loan online, but got rejected because we all have terrible credit.

I am desperate. If I really can’t do anything, my parents will be alone and vulnerable on the street for two weeks. My father might make it okay, but my mother is 67 years old and not in the best of health. I can’t stand the thought of her shivering and starving on the street. I really don’t know where else to find answers for this anymore. They’re both in their late 60s and I’m terrified that they will die on the street some way or another.

Please, does anyone have any answers? What else can I do?
If I could get them, I would be on a plane right now. Unfortunately my brothers and I are rather poor and have already sent what little we could.

I will try my relatives anyway, because we’re desperate, but I’m not optimistic because my parents are really good at burning bridges.

My father is a good man. He earns a salary, religiously attends church, and helps out with friends and family. He has a couple hobbies that besides bringing in change is pure decent enjoyment. One particular hobby is purchasing vehicles, fixing them up, and re-selling them. This is where my problem with him resides.

He and my mother have been friends with one lady for a long period. My parents have a stable financial life, but she doesn’t. She recently bought a car from my parents, and since she could not afford ba loan because of bad credit, they took out a 00 loan in their name for her. She made a promisorry note, stating that she would make all the monthly payments on time. She has made every payment on time, and she has never missed one. But my argument is not with her, but instead with her son.

She’s of old age probably 60′s and she has one son who has a colorful record. He’s in his late 30′s and he has gone through living off of her to trying to have her arrested, and then being arrested, for domestic disturbance and for drug possesion. Currently he is on good terms with his mom right now, so she’s allowing him to stay with her. She allows him back in because according to her "this guy is her son and she is his mother so she can’t turn her back on him".

But here is where the problem is. A couple years back this friend sold her house to my parents, who renovated the inside and outside with their own money and thier hands (they did 76%) of the work. The women came to my parents house when they were almost done with the rennovations and asked if her son and his girlfirend could stay in their for a few days. She had bought a trailer and did not have enough space for them both. My instincts told me this was not a good thing, and I argued against it. I did not like what this friend had asked from my parents. If she thought she was doing a motherly thing by seeking a place for her son, it should have been in the comfort of her home, not the home my parents bought. Since my parents thought it was only going to be a few days, they did not make out a lease, but abided under an oral agreement. After a few days had passed my parents asked them to leave. However the son and his girlfriend refused to leave and said that they were going to stay there for a few months. According to them this house belonged to the son, because it was originally his mothers. But his mother SOLD it to my parents along with an ongoing family dispute. My parents had to take them to court to make them leave, and what hurts me the most was not the situation itself but the comments that this friends son and his girlfriend hurled at my parents in court, This sickening couple said that my parents had promised this and done that and then the girlfriend even said my father tried to make advances on her. My father and mother were always together when they were at that house. They were never apart, I know my father I am with him 95% of the time, he is a good man. My parents’ friend, the guys mother did side with my parents at the court case and offered herself as a witness to help my parents with case..

Now currently I am seeing deja vu. My father who has finished work on a vehicle wants to sell it. He was looking for a buyer, and with upcoming land taxes he wanted to find a quick buyer. Thier friend came over a few days later and said wanted to know if my dad had a vehicle that her son can buy. After the last mishap, I would think my father would be against any sale or legal dealing with the friends son. I wanted to know the friends son’s additional court history, and it was an frightening sight. I Checking the court files I found out her son has already tried to sue two companies this year.

To me the idea of my Dad selling this vehicle to this friends son is way past ridiculous. He still wants to sell the car to this guy after I told him about his past: the same guy who took advantage of him, lied about him, tries to make a living off of lawsuits, and he wants to sell the car to him?

I a future law student (fall) and I know that this friends son could sue us for so many things about the car. I drove this week and had it inspected, the mechanic said it was in good shape and is running smoothly. So I know the car is a good deal, but you could do something to the vehicle and claim the owner had sold it to him in that state. And based on the courtfiles, he has made past statements. I am trying to talk my Dad out of this, and he mentioned that he would get the buyer to sign a best as warranty or something along the lines of that. What that means is that if something is wrong with the car in the future, the seller is not at fault. But I can;t believe that would work too well in a legal situation. Because you can always say that the seller was not honest about the sale, claiming the "Buyer Beware clause".

I know that I am going to get into a big argument with my Dad. He is in Canada for a few days and will be back on Frida
My Dad will be back in on Friday, so I have three days to find a buyer for the car. Am I wrong to object, to refuse the sale.

i would…
give 10,000 to my church
pay off my parents mortgage
buy my brother a new(used) car
give my brother 0,000 for college
redo the sink area of our kitchen
the rest would be for my college and future

growing up my mother was very verbally abusive,and sometimes physically.she was rude,greedy,disrespectful and just horrible.as i got older and was able to work i had to give her every cent i made to "pay bills"but somehow we were always short on bills even though i would give her everything.she constantly asked people for money,my friends parents,my friends!,people from church,you name it!.and never pay them back for years.when i met my hubby she insisted in meeting his family and of course to my embarassment she asked his grandma for 0!and paid her back.then she asked him for a loan of 00!behind my back,and when i found out i was furious!she gave him this bs about how we were tight with money and she couldnt take it anymore and being the nice guy he is took out a loan and we moved to CA.(where he is now stationed)he has never gotten a payment from her,just attitude,rude remarks and claims she never asked for money..one day he was going to bring me lunch to work and.(conti)
didnt have his cc.so went home(we 3 lived together because we had just moved there) to find her packin everything!with not telling us,not paying her part of the rent that we had to pay and were late because of her so had to pay more charges.packed up and left we had to sleep on the floor for a week till we got a bed.i confronted her the week after and told her how horrible she was for doing what she did and i was not going to give her anymore 2nd chances.and now she calls me once a week to say"i just wanted to see how your doing"and if i dont answer she calls 5times in a row.and always calls when hes at work.i dont want to talk to her,after all the years of hurt and what she did ive had enough.im not bitter or mad i just want to move on.but how do i do so if shes constantly calling me and telling my famliy lies.?
didnt have his cc.so went home(we 3 lived together because we had just moved there) to find her packin everything!with not telling us,not paying her part of the rent that we had to pay and were late because of her so had to pay more charges.packed up and left we had to sleep on the floor for a week till we got a bed.i confronted her the week after and told her how horrible she was for doing what she did and i was not going to give her anymore 2nd chances.and now she calls me once a week to say"i just wanted to see how your doing"and if i dont answer she calls 5times in a row.and always calls when hes at work.i dont want to talk to her,after all the years of hurt and what she did ive had enough.im not bitter or mad i just want to move on.but how do i do so if shes constantly calling me and telling my famliy lies.?

I have extremely low self esteem. I don’t mean the "I’m ugly- compliment me" kind. I mean I’m on anti-depressants, I spend alot of time crying, think I am absolutely good for nothing kind of low self esteem.

I am gonna play the I was emotionally abused by my mother card because I was. I try to not let it affect me but it has. It’s hard to let 20+ years of emotional abuse go. I can’t avoid my mom as she is terminally ill and I believe it’s far better to be there for her. Plus, I honestly don’t think she remembers the things she’s done. It wouldn’t do any good now to bring it up anyway.

It’s affecting my marriage because I’m constantly freaking out thinking my husband is going to leave me for someone better and he’s getting tired of reassuring me he won’t.

It doesn’t help that I spent a great chunk of our marriage as a SAHM and then entered the workforce again only to be laid off when that business closed. So I decided to start my own business which he supported- reluctantly and allowed me to put all of our vehicles on the loan plus had my parents co-sign for. Unfortunately, the great recession hit and my business failed after a year. I’m okay with that part- mostly. I just wish constantly that I’d never done it. I know I can’t undo it but I can’t stop resenting myself for doing it. What bothers me about it is that I have a SBA loan to pay for now and had no job up until a couple days ago. I finally found a job but it means I will never see my husband or daughter. Plus I’ll end up seeing people that knew I had my own business and it’s very embarrassing. Partly because it failed. Partly because when it closed I told people that I had to because we might be moving due to my husband’s job. That fell through- we didn’t move and people comment on it all the time. I should mention I live in a small rural town where you would think people would be a little more understanding but they are very back stabbing and clique-ish. And to top the job part off, I hate the place I’ll be working. I know I can still look for another one but it’s taken me 6 months to find this one (small town!)

I want to be a writer but I have a HUGE fear of failure that I can’t seem to get passed. I am over weight but I’ve started to do mild to moderate exercise for about 1- 1 1/2 hrs a day. But due to being out of shape and an injury that’s still healing, it’s very slow going and I’m a results kind of person. I’m treating my depression with meds but I hate it. Counseling is out because I simply can’t afford it. Church is not an option either- hubby hates it and I go when I can but our church is in a major upheaval right now. I have no real friends (ya know the kind you say "let’s go have coffee with and talk") that I can lean on. Just a few acquaintances that I say hi to when I see them.

So my question is how can I build up my self esteem without relying on others to do it for me? I want to be a happy, better person on my own merit. I should also mention that moving is not as option as my husband has an excellent job with benefits that would be absolutely stupid to give up over my issues.
1st- I appreciate the weight loss tips but that’s not what this is about. It’s about my overall self esteem. Weight is only a part of it.
2nd- yes- I believe in God and I do pray. But I’ve studied several religions and I cannot say I am exclusively Christian especially since I do not believe everything happened in the Bible as it is because it was written by man sometimes several hundred years after the fact and man is flawed. I don’t want to turn this into a spiritual debate. I’m simply trying to head off people telling me to read the Bible. I have- it has good points in it but I also don’t believe it is the sole cure to my self esteem issues.

1.) My first problem is that I don’t go to church. People are always asking me where I go to church at and I lie and say I got to this church called Trinity. But I’m stupid and didn’t realize there are kids that I know that go there that I told I go there also. (Like 3 people.) So I’m in a pickle…**Don’t get me wrong, I believe in God & Jesus but my parents have never taken me to church so I’ve only been like 6 times my whole life. I’m almost 15!

2.) My second problem is that my dad got laid off in January. January 3rd to be exact. I live in a town in Tennessee, and we are going to have to move in January if my dad doesn’t get the loan he wants. They refused to give it to him. If we move I’ll have to move 500 miles away from where I am now. I don’t want to. So I’ve been thinking of moving in with my sister if this does happen. It’s okay with her and everything. Do you think my parents will let me stay?

I’m suppose to be having a wedding in June. The church is already paid for, but we can get most of it back if we cancel. We are already legally married (he’s in the navy and he had new orders coming up and if I wanted to be able to go with him I had to be his wife). Anyways, we’ve been planning this for a year. My parents were going to be paying and so far we still have to pay for: a dress (I need to order it in the next week if I want to get it in time), Two tux rentals (160 each), alterations, music (the church requires live music and if you use your own you still have to pay 100 for "consultations"), food for the reception, floral (all), decorations, a cake, etc. etc….

Here’s the problem: My mom just lost her job, she is looking for a new job but the soonest she would have a paycheck is September. That means they’re going to be short at LEAST 10K in earnings even after unemployment. So them paying for anything is pretty much out. On my end I can’t find a job and don’t have a job. I can’t even afford school for a few more months. I just pulled out a loan, both of our credit cards are close to the max (enough room for emergencies). The only way we can afford to have the wedding is if we pay the minimums instead of paying off our debt faster… in this case we could afford the wedding (nothing but the minimum)..

On the other we can pay off our debt in the next two years by making above minimum payment and we could just throw a party at my house (my parents have a pool). Food could just be grilled or something simple like that and we have speakers for music.

Which direction should I go with? I’m beyond stressed at this point because this is the third attempt at wedding I’ve had, the first two were before we got legally married. I just want this to be over with. My husband is set on the church wedding whole deal but I never even cared if we got married in a church to begin with.

support check and my first mortgage payment is due. I went to the church for help, my son told the school we had no food and they sent home lunch snacks so we would make it through the weekend.
My husband and I were married in 1997 right after boot camp. For 11 years and 48 months of overseas deployments all together, I stayed faithful. I had a son with him in 99 and a daughter in 01. Right after my son was born, he began to show extreme anger and off and on before 06 he showed abusive behavior towards me, IE, strangling to the floor, slaps in the face, items thrown at me resulting in bruises. In 04, I convinced him to discharge from the military, go home and bond with his family. When we went back home and he got out, he wouldn’t work. It was 5 months and I had to work to support us by myself. He moped around the house, wouldn’t even help with the kids. One night I told him if he didn’t do something that he could leave. When I came home from work that night, I found a note on the table that said, "I have the kids, I’ll be in touch". He took the kids, all their clothes and took them to his parents house. When I contacted them, they threatened to press tresspassing on me should I show up to see them. I told my dad, my dad went to his parents house and convinced my husband to bring them back. When he put them in the car to bring them home, his dad got into a fist fight with my husband in front of my children, but he brought them back. He came home and then wanted to fix things with me and because of the on going war with his parents and myself, I told him it was them or us and he chose us. He went back into the military and was deployed to Iraq. I took care of the bills and kids completely alone until he returned. When he returned, we were stationed in Montana as him being an Army recruiter. This was 2006.

During 2006, the fights got worse. He was rarely home, always late and when he did come home and I asked him where he was, it would either result in hours worth of him yelling at me, throwing things at me in front of the kids or him disappearing for days at a time with no idea where he was and he always said it was his job keeping him gone and I just didn’t understand that nor supported him. When I went to his chain of command, they always took his side and at one time, his Sgt told me if I didn’t like this life, to get out and deal with the fact that it was my job to support my husband no matter his actions because that was just the way it works. In October of 06, I was fed up with this behavior and decided to leave if he didn’t want to work this out. The only place I had to go was Alabama to the only friend I had that I had met online. I was homebound and raising 2 children alone for so long, I had no one else. My mother is paralyzed from the neck down due to a car accident in 95 and my dad takes care of her alone. He knew where I was headed to and did nothing to stop me. He encouraged the idea of us all leaving so I did. I was in Alabama for 2 months and he rarely called the kids, always said he was too busy. After 2 months, I had enough and decided to come back to Montana on my own. When I got home, I found the sheets on my bed turned inside out and panties under my bed which he denied having an affair and since I was the one that left, I let it go.

In 2007, I found a daycare and a job working in Corrections and got my own direct deposit and benefits. During the times he was supposed to pick them up from daycare, there were countless times he didn’t and they couldn’t find him to do so and they called me to tell me they were closing soon and needed me to pick up the kids. I couldn’t because I wasn’t off work yet and he wasn’t answering his cell. The checks he wrote the daycare were hot and eventually they got tired of this and kicked my kids out of daycare due to his absence when it was time to pick them up and me having to consistantly cover the hot checks. I found a new daycare and continued my job. There was another Army Recruiter that put a guy in the army and shortly after this guy went to bootcamp, the army recruiter had an affair with the guys wife. The recruiters wife just had a baby and 2 more small children with no family so I let her come live with me so I could help her get back on her feet. During this duration, which I have found out recently, she was having sex with my husband in my home and in my bed. My son caught them and my husband threw a beer can at him.

During 2008, as I continued working, trying to keep daycare happy with his consistant disappearing acts, taking care of her kids as well, I began to get frusterated and every time I asked my husband where he was all the time, he always said that he worked 16 hour days to support us and for me to get over it. In November, 3 days after our 10th anniversary, he brought his work computer home with him and that also frusterated me and when I begged him to put it down and spend time with me, it resulted in a beer can thrown at my face and a black eye. The police were involved and I have a report. Days after that, I tried to walk away from a fight and he threw a s
The police were involved and I have a report. Days after that, I tried to walk away from a fight and he threw a steel toed boot and hit me in the head in front of my son. I also got hit in the hip with a lighter and a glass ashtray to my foot. I threw him out of the house with that one and told him if he didn’t leave, I would press charges this time. The next day, he packed his things and disappeared. I would text him, call him – no response. I had no friends or family except my co workers. He never called the daycare to talk to the kids and we didn’t see him again until Xmas and briefly. He promised to help us make the transition when I filed for divorce.
In January of this year, we hadn’t heard from him, got barely any money from him and all of a sudden he showed up at my house to "take the kids", so I called the cops and they issued a no contact order until the divorce was final. He told me I could claim both kids on the taxes so I would have the money to make the move. He got his w2′s before me and claimed my daughter behind my back, refused to give us any money for support because he said I didn’t respect him and wouldn’t contact TMO so we could have help moving. I tried, but they said I wasn’t the service member and I couldn’t do it, so I did it alone financially and physically and with my 2 kids. The divorce was final in March and I went to Child Support Enforcement and they explained to me it would be a while before I saw my first check because the military do things a month behind. In April, we made our move, and I tried contacting him to talk to his kids. He blew me off. In May, I still hadn’t seen my first child suppor
This thing won’t let me tell everything, not enough space

I’m 34, going on 35. Due to an illness, I was unable to work and hold a position that would pay for my rent and living expenses. I was struck with an illness when I was 26-27, and lasted me a long time. Last year, I have slowly recovered from my illness, and was able and lucky to get a job hear home. I am able to pay for my living expenses now, but temporarily because I’m a contractor. I wanted to save some money at home, and therefore I haven’t left home as soon as I got my first paycheck. Plus I had a loan to pay. I still have one more loan and a credit card account to pay.

I still have these two debts, but I want to leave home now because I can’t stand my parents’ characters anymore. My parents used to sell pirated souveniers. My mom always had loud arguments with my father. My father got into an affair that lasted years, and gave my mom a STD. My mom got mad, let all of her children know what happened (I was around 15-16 when this happened. My brother and sister even younger.) She never got divorced though. I confronted why she’s with my father. She said she was powerless to get a divorce.

We’ve been living here for the past 13 years. My father operated an illegal rooming house for illegal immigrants. I was mad and confronted my mother for letting this happen. She told me "So what are we going to live on?" My father also was against me dating a darker person at one time. He also got very mad when I had a black friend. And he also was against me going to a black church. I asked if he was racist recently, and he said he wasn’t. Bullshit.

Anyway, my parents got fined heavily for operating the illegal rooming house. They don’t have money to pay for the attorney, the repairs that need to be done, and not even the building taxes. They got a huge loan for the expenses related to the illegal rooming house. But since they don’t operate it anymore, they won’t be able to pay for the building taxes, the loan, and other expenses. My sister told them to sell the building a long time ago, and my father never did that. Instead, he took the money that my sister gave him (,000 to pay off the mortgage) which they couldn’t pay. Because my sister helped them, they were never able to realize that their income wasn’t not enough to pay off the bills.

I am realizing that my parents are not the people I should look up to anymore. I want to abandon them. But if I do, then they will be in a huge mess and will lose their buildings to the government due to lack of inability to pay for taxes.

Should I leave them (as I’m realizing my parents are horrible people) and let them lose everything or stay with them and help them financially because they let me stay at home when I was ill?

I’m 34, going on 35. Due to an illness, I was unable to work and hold a position that would pay for my rent and living expenses. I was struck with an illness when I was 26-27, and lasted me a long time. Last year, I have slowly recovered from my illness, and was able and lucky to get a job hear home. I am able to pay for my living expenses now, but temporarily because I’m a contractor. I wanted to save some money at home, and therefore I haven’t left home as soon as I got my first paycheck. Plus I had a loan to pay. I still have one more loan and a credit card account to pay.

I still have these two debts, but I want to leave home now because I can’t stand my parents’ characters anymore. My parents used to sell pirated souveniers. My mom always had loud arguments with my father. My father got into an affair that lasted years, and gave my mom a STD. My mom got mad, let all of her children know what happened (I was around 15-16 when this happened. My brother and sister even younger.) She never got divorced though. I confronted why she’s with my father. She said she was powerless to get a divorce.

We’ve been living here for the past 13 years. My father operated an illegal rooming house for illegal immigrants. I was mad and confronted my mother for letting this happen. She told me "So what are we going to live on?" My father also was against me dating a darker person at one time. He also got very mad when I had a black friend. And he also was against me going to a black church. I asked if he was racist recently, and he said he wasn’t. Bullshit.

Anyway, my parents got fined heavily for operating the illegal rooming house. They don’t have money to pay for the attorney, the repairs that need to be done, and not even the building taxes. They got a huge loan for the expenses related to the illegal rooming house. But since they don’t operate it anymore, they won’t be able to pay for the building taxes, the loan, and other expenses. My sister told them to sell the building a long time ago, and my father never did that. Instead, he took the money that my sister gave him (,000 to pay off the mortgage) which they couldn’t pay. Because my sister helped them, they were never able to realize that their income wasn’t not enough to pay off the bills.

I am realizing that my parents are not the people I should look up to anymore. I want to abandon them. But if I do, then they will be in a huge mess and will lose their buildings to the government due to lack of inability to pay for taxes.

Should I leave them (as I’m realizing my parents are horrible people) and let them lose everything or stay with them and help them financially because they let me stay at home when I was ill?

There is a lot to my situation so I will try to explain it as clearly as I can to you…

I am 19 years old, living with my parents, and a college sophomore. My parents and I have had rough spells, mostly during my early teenage years as I suspect many experience with their parents, but we get along great for the most part now. I live with them although I support myself financially as far as school, gas, insurance, etc… This past school year they would not give me their information to fill out my FAFSA so that I could receive aid for school. This put a strain on our relationship for a while, but I believe that I am called to honor them no matter what (not just if they make me happy and are good to me all the time) so I put this aside and found scholarships and took out a loan, with my grandparents cosigning, to get through my first year of college.

Now, it is time to be filling out the FAFSA again and to prepare financially to attend college in August. My parents, once again, will not fill out my FAFSA. I recently found out it was because my dad has not filed his taxes because he is self-employed and it is difficult for him to get his papers together. I understand this, but it still seems to me that he could try since this is such a significant thing for me! Especially since he has known for a year this was coming. It is as if he doesn’t really care. My grandparents have recently fallen into financially dire situations of their own and are no longer eligible to cosign on a loan for me and I do not know any other relatives or friends who are able to, either.

Now, this is going to seem like a change of topics but it does fit into my story, I promise! Three months ago my boyfriend of nearly four years proposed to me with my father’s blessing. We wanted to get married sooner rather than later because we feel we are ready to take that next step in our relationship and become husband and wife. We are both Christians, we pray and read the Word together, and we are active in our church as leaders. My parents are Christians, although they do not attend church, read the Bible with the family, or fellowship with Christians in any way that is apparent to my siblings and I. When my fiance and I approached them about getting married soon, they said that they just did not have a peace about it and we did not have their blessing to get married, only to plan and prepare for it. It is really hard, but I don’t want to step out of God’s plan for my life. After all, he placed me under my parent’s authority and this is their decision.

I am conflicted because both my fiance have a peace in our own hearts about the marriage, and when we have talked to older people in our church, they are supportive, too. Come to think of it, everyone seems to be except for my parents who don’t have a "peace" about it in their gut.

To add to my sorrow over not getting married, I just learned that if I were to be married, I could fill out my FAFSA with my fiance’s information and receive the aid. He has been financially blessed and has enough savings to pay for our college with the aid, a small apartment, and he works to pay bills. We have run the numbers, and we can afford to do it which sounds too good to be true, but like I said, he has been financially blessed!

My mom has explained it to me like this… The world and evil are like the rain that falls upon us, and God is the umbrella. Under God’s umbrella is our parents’ umbrella shielding us, and if we step out from our parents’, we step out from God’s, leaving ourselves exposed to bad things and out of God’s plan for our life and His blessings. I love my parents and I don’t wish to defy them, I am just really conflicted about what to do! This is putting me in risk of not going to college this year (there are no job oppurtunities for me in my small, country hometown) and I am delaying a marriage that I long for! Any advice that you have for me would be so greatly appreciated! Thank you!

My fiance and I are getting married in June 09 in our hometown. But until December we will be living kind of far away as we finish our last semester in college, making it a bit hard for us to put money down on things like the church and reception venue. My dad has just pulled out a loan, and my future in-laws are contributing a considerable amount as well. We need to find a way for us to access funds from where we live, and still be able to have both sets of parents have access to the funds as well so they can pay for things there. What is the best way to do this? We were thinking a checking account. But how many people can you have on a checking account? Any advice on this from past brides?

I just graduated with my masters degree and started my very first job How exciting! However, I’m slightly overwhelmed with what to do – how to break up my money. I feel like I’m even poorer than when I was in school…

I have 60k in student loan debt (now down to about 58k). I pay 700 dollars from each pay (every 2 weeks). So, on average 1400 a month. I am putting 1400 a month into savings (1.3% interest rate, no fees). I am also putting 5% into retirement. I want to get my higher interest loans (6.8%) paid off quickly (about 50% of my loans are that rate) and I have about 14,000 at 1.25% (which I will take my time paying off). This leaves me with a little more than 200 dollars a week for gas, food and expenses.

I want to buy a house soon, and am thinking at this rate, in 2 years I’ll have a good chunk of my loans paid off and also have about 40k in savings for a down payment. I will be getting a large pay raise in about 5 months, and I plan to put the extra into retirement and an emergency fund, and also increase my bi-weekly loan payments to 00. Right now I’m putting 5% into retirement, I would like to put 10% when I get my raise.

I have no credit card debt and no loans except my student loans. I plan on living with my parents for the next 2 years in order to save more money, pay off my loans, and be in a good position to buy a house.

Is there anything I’m forgetting? Is there anything I should be doing differently? I would just lay it hard and heavy on the student loans and get them paid off but I feel like I should put some into savings too so I have some money at my disposal in case something happens.

I’m also supposed to be giving 10% a week to my church. I don’t know how people can handle all of this. I was so excited to get a really good paying job, but I feel like it’s impossible still to get ahead. I know I have a lot of student loan debt, but I really don’t think 10k per year of school is all that bad… that included all of my living expenses and tuition. I worked part time and had scholarships so that helped too.

I’m 25 and just stupid with money. The whole thing stresses me out. I finally have a job and I’m terrified to spend any money. I don’t know what to do. I read things online, listen to things on the radio, and it all just confuses me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

1. Give 10% of the money to Jesus.
2. Fix up my home church. (home church is the church that I started out at when I was a little girl)
3. I would first of all NOT quit my job. I would take vacation time to buy me a building for my business. I would open a nail/hair/ salon/clothing/shoe store for women and men. Then after that is up and running I would quit my job and dedicate my time to my business.
4. Finish college in the process of starting my own business.
5. Build my family a 5 bedroom , 3 1/2 bath home, with a gameroom, theater/media room, a pool/jacuzzi.
6. Buy 3 brand new vehicles (a SLAB for hubby, a Harley Davidson truck for both of us, and a Range Rover for me) ( if you don’t know what a slab is google slab car)
7. Pay off my parents’ mortgage and buy them a new house. (they can rent the other out or sell it)
8. Help my family members pay off debt.
9. Donate money to help children all over the world.
10. Invest the money and put up for my children’s education, and their lives.
11. Travel all around the world.
12. Try to be and live happy while serving and Thanking the Lord.
Don’t be rube or mean please….You should have better things to do then be rude.

I am going into my first year of university this year. I am also going to a Univeristy of Alberta, which is a long way from home and in a completly different province. Now that I am on my own, I will be able to attend church every sunday- and I will even be able to be baptized! However my parents are paying for all of the down payments on my loans and dorm leases, and I need there money and co signs for my student loan. Well….they have informed me that if I join the church and get baptized, they will give me no money and will not co sign for my student loan. So in other words, I’m done for and my univeristy education is down the drain. So what should I do, go ahead and join the church and hope that they don’t mean what they say, or give up joining the church to save my education?

I was on WIC but I lost the little booklet thing while I was moving close to a year ago. I was pregnant at the time and my parents were helping me out a lot. Now I was just laid off at work (which I believe has everything to do with being pregnant), found a very part time job at my church for 0 a month, have a son, and really need the help. I am receiving Medicaid, so I know I am automatically eligible. I am just wondering since the counselor was so uptight about me losing the book, should I go to another office and reapply for WIC? I am planning to keep on trying to find a job, but nobody wants to hire me for the short period of time (except my church daycare). Once my child is born, I know I will be able to find a job. I’m also applying for Food Stamp Benefits. (Please don’t tell me to go to my parents, I owe them over ,000 in lawyer fees, loans, etc. and they won’t help me anymore.)

In childhood, she was concerned about my health and education but not really about social life. It was OK! for her that I was getting along with social outcasts who also had boring life. As long as I was "saint" and religious, going always to church this was making her happy. Any who is agnostic "considers" evil. My sister was social outcast too and my parents neither had rich social life. Even when I was 10, she put me down with words (accused) regarding me having crooked back now being overweight (but I go to gym and try to loss weight and get in shape) . I went to very good but private school and the classes are small and teachers wonderfull and statistically almost every graduate get job from school I attend. She of course prefered me to go to community college because of money and already I got a lot of financial support for first year. For next year I am gonna take priv loan, but for the first I took very small amount PLUS on her name as we agreed. Now she is mad at me
that she has to repay per moth with interest. Fine so I” subsidize her loan through my private and she won’t have to pay anything. Thanks for help! And thought that couple months ago she was worried about me not goint to much into debt when I considered on-campus housing. Mixed motions?
I got on parents onl 3800 loan and big deal. It can be paid off fast sooner or later. I did not even took on campus housing to save more money for next year and not go against their wishes as it would be hard. I love my mother but sitting with her and listening to her complaints is depressing. I really try hard but sometimes I feel she sometimes she undermine me, does not value good things I do. Help!
She also always looks at my closet and backpack though I do not like it. Later she accuse that I do not put clothes properly although because I can’t as she still does it by herself, even sometimes she does not let me do myself it instead of her. I also cannot lock my door to my room because it is inappriopriate for her. I feel little bit violated with privacy.

Section 125 (42 U.S.C. 12575)

SEC. 125. PROHIBITED ACTIVITIES AND INELIGIBLE ORGANIZATIONS.
(a) Prohibited Activities- A participant in an approved national service position under this subtitle may not engage in the following activities:

(7) Engaging in religious instruction, conducting worship services, providing instruction as part of a program that includes mandatory religious instruction or worship, constructing or operating facilities devoted to religious instruction or worship, maintaining facilities primarily or inherently devoted to religious instruction or worship, or engaging in any form of religious proselytization.
__________________________________________

I ask this because my parents are up in arms about how this bill would require volunteer time for student loans, and prevent church attendance. I’m not strong in Legaleze, but i only see this as restricting the volunteers from using the time to force their views onto others or further the causes of a particular denomination. Surely this can’t be the first time this language has been put on a bill that has passed through, i think. Any ideas?

Long story short,….

Was given a budget, planned entire wedding around that budget. Nickel and dimed things and was able to splurge on 2 things we really wanted…a videographer and a string quartet at the church.

Parents decide that they want to invite more of THEIR friends, so they demand my budget list and overhaul it to include what THEY want. They ultimately cross the string quartet off the list because it’s just plain "stupid" and money could be spent better.

Okay okay….like I said, we (my fiance and I) skimped in places to afford classical music at our ceremony, which is 0 for four adults to play.

I am making my own invitations, getting my veil off eBay, ordering favors off eBay, getting inexpensive flowers for my bouquet….to name the few areas I am saving money to afford music that we want at the church.

We are about ready to take a loan out and tell my parents to save their own $$…..we should have done VEGAS!

Opinions?
I REALLY appreciate everyone’s opinions! I agree with each and every one of you!

*I also want to say I am not giving any thumbs-down…I’m not at Level 2 yet!*

i got baptized in 08 and was singing in the praise team. I voluntered to file music and prepare the teams music books because i wanted to do something for the church since I dont have a job and cant tyth. I enjoyed the time i was spending 1-2 times a month because it was quiet and peaceful in the lords house. My preacher and his wife know that i have been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we have a three year old and we do live together unmarried. the preachers wife is really pushy and basicly detered my bf from comming back to my church because of her pushiness. Since then she has been using the time i file music to shut the door to the room and make me sit and talk to her about my life. basicly giving me christian counseling i didnt ask for. she has basicaly tried her best to talk me into leaving my bf and becomming an unemployed single mother because she thinks my bf isnt a true believer. she went as far to ask if i would be able to move back in with my parents. I am 27 and we are paying a mortgage. When i told her i didnt want to uproot my family she told me i didnt have a family because im not married. I tried telling her that we planned to get married later and that still wasnt good enough to get her off my back because he wasnt a believer and it wouldnt work. I had to stop praise team because of child care, but let her know i could come back because i found child care for wed. night rehearsals. she sat me down and basically asked what i was going to do about my living situation, and i finally nicely said that i might be wrong and didnt expect her to agree but at this point in time i wasnt leaving my bf and i really didnt see the wrong in it. she in turn said i couldnt be in praise team, i was making it public i was living with a man i wasnt married to and had a child with him as well (which i have never told a sole at that church) people in praise team are considered leaders blah blah but she didnt want me to stop comming to church. I told her i couldnt file music last week because i had something come up and i didnt check my email for a while and i dont have house phone only cell. she sends me 2 prepaid phone cards in the mail asking me to come do the free work of filing music for a praise team that i cant be in because im such a sinner on my kids b day and i didnt respond. well today i get a knock on the door and its the preachers wife just stoping by unannounced, and i know she had to mapquest it cause she only had my address. i feel like she is stalking me, if she cant get ahold of me on the phone she calls my family members and today was the last straw. To just come to my house without calling to basically come in tell me she hadnt seen me in church past few weeks, ask me if she offended me, and then ask me to come in the next day to file that freakn music makes me feel like she is harassing me. do most preachers wives just show up at your door cause you missed a few sundays?? am i wrong for being mad about this?