Im ready to replace my old camry with a brand new car once I graduate next Spring. Im expecting to make -k. I have little debt and would like to buy a nice car. I also dont pay much for rent at my apartment,

From a financing point of view, how much should I spend?
I am waiting to get my job. Im not buying the car until next year. Just answer the question.

I got divorced in Oct 2010 and part of the settlement agreement was that I pay the mortgage as alimony on the martial home where she resides until Feb 2012. The house is still in both out names since we just refinanced in Feb. 2010. I have paid every mortgage payment and every CS support payment on time. My work has slowed down tremendously during the Summer due to low student numbers at both schools I teach at. Plus she just lost her hour job last week. Being a different religious beliefs was one of the many things we got divorced over although it was not the biggest thing. I doubt she will ever come to Christ, but I can’t help but pray and have hope that through my actions toward her and what positive changes she sees in our own children that she will someday understand or at least seek understanding. I wish her the best for her for the sake and our 2 darling children, but we have both come on hard times. That’s why I sought out help from my church. They generously paid my mortgage and some other bills through the grace of God.

She does not know anything about my financial situation except that I have been able to pay. Would it make any difference for the better to let my EX know I have fallen on hard times and that my church has paid for her alimony? If so, how would you word it in an email?

To top it off she has a live in boyfriend that stays there at night with our young kids. I obviously don’t have the money to go to court about this. I rather use that money on the kids.

Thanks for reading. Please help.
Thanks for all the suggestions and advice. This is not BS. It is the real deal. I don’t like the idea of spending more money that neither of us have on lawyers, but it may result in that.

Since I know we both are poor, what if I demanded that the live in boyfriend leave the house OR pay the mortgage without a lawyer, but then be prepared to back it up with a lawyer? Maybe a volunteer lawyer from my Church? I don’t know if there is such a thing.

Well, I should say I can’t afford to find somewhere to live because I am unable to find a job to help finance my living expenses. I’ve been living with a friend for the past month. It is a miserable situation, as I feel obligated to rely on those around me to survive. Is there no help or authority I can seek who can help me snag a simple job?
Apply as I might, I have no luck and I cannot continue living like this.

I have been a very active Mormon my entire life. But now going through a messy divorce. My wife left me a pile of bills. Planning on filing for bankruptcy. My wife is behind paying the mortgage. The bank is to the point of foreclosing. My mother died. Most of my siblings won’t talk to me. My testimony of the church has dwendled. Why is god punishing me. I feel like job in the bible.

Okay so my sister just turned baptist and she told me that she HAS to give money to the church because the pastor showed everyone their mortgage bill. This is a regular looking church. I told her that from what I learned in business class they are a non-profit. She tells me that she doesn’t believe me and that her pastor would never lie to her. She doesn’t have a job. She’s 19 and doesn’t help my mom pay the bills but yet she think she can give her FAFSA money to her church!!! So do they pay mortgage or any type of bills?
Dear PAT, it was just a question!!! I hope you are not one of those "christian" people! I didn’t assume EVERYTHING was free. Looks like you’re the retard.

My credit score went down when I lost my job; I got in a bind and need to take out a small loan. I am currently employed but keep getting denied because of my credit score. There was an Indian lending company commercial on TV, but I forgot the name…. Any suggestions?

Well, my finance and i want to get an apartment, the problem is he has horrible credit, but i have good. We want to move to florida, and i was wondering, if i just apply for the 1 bedroom apartment, and not even put him on the application, but he still moves in, do you think that matters?
just to answer a few of the peoples concerns…. he has horrible credit becuase he had credit card bills and college loans and he had an accident and broke his femur and it took him a year to re-learn how to walk. in that time he lost his job becuase he couldntwalk, and has since been trying to get back on his feet to get everything worked out…. and i can afford the apartment on my own. I make enough money. Now without him it’ll be less sepnding money, but i could deff. survive on my own….

and thanks for the responces everyone!

Strictly hypothetical people so don’t be nasty!

If you were married to a man who made a decent wage, lived in a house that needed some major repairs, didn’t have any savings, everything broke down at the SAME TIME, found out you needed a major surgery your insurance didn’t cover, you didn’t have a job, no one wants to loan you money and all your bills were due, you’ve recently gotten out of bankruptcy, have maxed out your credit cards, had no food in the house for your kids, and no one you know has any extra to help you out, what would you do?
A) Go to the government for help.(try to get food stamps, etc.)
B) Give your kids to Children’s services until you got on your feet.
C) Leave your spouse and try to start over.
D) Sell your body.
E) Give up and live on the streets.
F) Go to your poor church and ask for a handout(even though you haven’t been in years).
G) Let the creditors ruin you and take the bill money and take care of your kids and live in the dark.
The no job thing comes in b/c you have a disability and can’t get assistance b/c they say it can’t be proven.

I am going to be homeless in about a week. I can’t find a job even at McDonalds. There are no homeless shelters within an hour and a half from where I live and I don’t know what I am going to do. I live in Effingham, Illinois and the local CEFS programs say they have no funds to help me. I have no friends around here to stay with and all my family has passed and I have nowhere to go. I have to stay in this area because I have a son and I can’t move away from him. I have my taxes coming in a month and a half but I can’t get a loan against them. Someone please help me, I am so desperate. I don’t go to church or anything and with the economy the way it is, I dont see getting any or enough help from them to get me on my feet.

I can’t mow lawns or babysit. No one in my neighbor hood has a baby, and I know almost everyone. I have my own garden ,and I need 20 dollars for a new PSP screen, mines messed up. My parents are broke, they have no money. I can’t get money off of them. I doubt any of my friends would loan me money.
I can’t get a job because Im only 13 years old.
The church thats near me is volunteer and already pays someone for work , so I can’t go there.
Please help..? Thank you.

I’m going through a very difficult financial time in my life because my job of 13 years went bankrupt and I live in the state with the highest unemployment rate and my gf has at least a 750 credit score and 3 credit cards which 2 has zero balance on them of ,500 each and she gives 0 a month to her own church and she does not even go to any more. I asked her for a small loan of 0 and I’m making small payments back to her, last week I got a decent check and give her 0 but this week I got hurt and didn’t work as much and got a small check so I’m like short on bills and may go into overdraft on Friday if I don’t have the money and she will not give it to me for some reason. So I’m pissed at not just her but the whole situation of not having my own money but she keeps talking about going on trips and taking me to meet her parents and all this stuff but she can’t help me out with ?? I didn’t have to give her that 0 last week but I did.

Hey, I am 23 years old and have been married for 4 years to my high school sweetheart. We had been married since 2006. I worked at a motor home manufacturing plant for two years and ended up getting downsized. After that i started working for a painting outfit and have been with them for about two years. I was making around 14.00 dollars an hour but it was seasonal work (not much work during the winter) so we would go through some good financial times and then some tight times. but we always came out on top. We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple years since we both felt like we were at a stable enough point financially to have a child. after about 2 years of trying we decided that we probably couldn’t get pregnant and were just going to enjoy our freedom. It was at that point that we got pregnant. about 2 months into the pregnancy the economy took the nose dive and i was out of work. I spent the remainder of the next 7 months trying to find a job so that i could support my soon to be family. Needless to say it wasn’t long before savings dried up, unemployment went down because i had to renew it. We ended up having to sell the car we had a loan on, having to take out a loan to make up the difference because we were in over our heads in the car. then we lost our apartment and ended up moving in with a sister in our church. we have been living here for about a 3 months and its hard living out of a small bedroom. an just last month i got a job (finally) working for a home improvement center near where i live. it pays 9 dollars an hour and its only 30 hours a week. My wife and i sat down and did the math and at minimum i would have to work 40 hours a week every week to just barely make the minimum for living costs if we were to move out. And 2 weeks ago we were blessed with a handsome healthy baby boy. But the burden of my job as the husband is starting to wear me down. I know i have to work to support my family so there is no way im gonna not work for the home improvement place. but at the same time it wont really get me anywhere because the pay and hours are so low. I looked into going back to school to get a degree in something. but it did not play out as a option for us. i would have to go to college for a year at least just to qualify for some of the programs. then another 2 years at least to get the degree in what i was looking for. And going to school wouldn’t pay the bills for us to live on our own. So here i am writing this to you guys and gals to get a little advice or encouragement. Its starting to wear both my wife and i down physically and emotionally. We don’t want to be living with someone else for much longer but we cant get by on our own. Thanks for any help or advice.
~Dan

I need to work to help financially support my family of 5 people (my husband, 3 sons & me). My problem is that I can’t afford to pay for the gas to get to & from a job until I get my 1st paycheck. My husband has been 100% disabled for the past 6 years, I have to stay home to care for him, my husband just underwent major surgery to repair 2 aneurisms that were both about to burst, the surgery cost over one million dollars of which Medicare paid 97%. We have no money at all to pay toward our remaining balance because after we pay rent, electricity, car payment for our only car, car insurance, furniture payment, loan payment, & internet connection, we’re literally broke. Our church buys our groceries & our children’s schools buy their clothes, shoes & school supplies because we have no money left.

Hello- I am a single mom with 4 daughters (my oldest is my foster daughter who is 16, and I have a 16, 14, and 8 year old as well). I was laid off from my job as a Sr. Loan Processor and have been looking non-stop for work. I do get 500 child support and 500 foster support, but my rent is 1650.00 and my bills are stacking up! I have been going to school full time at ashford university (online) and am trying to get a BA in business managmnet to ensure a better job in the future. I am so stressed trying to come up with money to pay my rent and for gas to drive the kids to school and food for these girls, that I have no idea how I will be able to get the kids anything they need, much less Christmas presents! I am not able to get unemployment because i was 1099′d and can not get cash aid or food stamps because my support is so high. Luckily, I had some savings that was able to help with my rent and now it is all gone. I have negative 19.00 in my bank account and less than a dollar to my name. I have used everything (mostly on my gas and food). I have asked my church for help with Christmas, but I am not sure what they will do. I have been selling misc items on craigslist and don’t have much more to sell! I will be getting my support on the first and will sell anything I can to come up with the rest of my rent, if possible. I have an interview set up for next week for a processing job, and a couple interviews making min wage. I am really praying for the processing job because that would pay my bills – but anything would be better than nothing. I know that when I get a job it will take me several paychecks to catch up on my utilities (that are all behind), my car payments (that are 2 months behind), my car insurance (that has now lapsed), etc, and I know there is no way I will have any money to buy presents for the girls! I am in Southern Orange County and willing to babysit, clean, run erronds, shop, organize, wrap presents, or do any type of office work for money or presents for my girls. If you know of a job I can do for you or someone, or know of a good possition in a company please let me know. I have been doing home loans and processing them for 7 years. I am also a notary public. My girls really need and want for Christmas- shampoos, razors, socks, shoes, clothes, make-up, and Jackets. Also, if anyone has any ideas of a program that can help me please let me know. I would also like to ask for prayers for me and my girls. Thank you!

I’m 16 I’ve been working at my job of a church nursery care worker for over 6 months and make well over 0 a month, and can get some one to co-sign on my loan for a car. Can i get one now? If so how much can I get one for? I’ve looked on a app on my phone and it says I can afford a 00 or less loan at 6% for 24-72 months is that right? Or can someone my age not get a loan that long term?

I am so depressed. I try to see all of the ways my life is full and blessed, but I just can’t get past the things that have happened to me this past year. Exactly a year ago yesterday, my husband of 24 years was placed on administrative leave from his job as a high school teacher. He was accused of being inappropriately involved with a student. I defended him during the investigation, to my family and to our church. I was committed to him and did not believe the allegations. On Christmas Eve, he walked out on the family to move in with the 18 year old student ( he is 53). I was shocked and still am. Of course he lost his job. I was left with the bills and a mortgage. I thought I would lose the house and haveto file bankruptcy. My son was attending an expensive college in New York and I could not afford to send him back for the spring semester. Shortly after this transpired, my father was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. Life couldn’t seem worse.
Since that terrible day, I finalized my divorce, and fought for and received full custody of my 12 year old daughter. I received a promotion at work. I was able to sell my home and purchase a smaller one for my daughter and myself. I got my son back into school. I received a scholarship to complete my graduate degree. My dad had surgery and is doing well.
So many things have gone well for me. I am proud of the way I handled my divorce, yet I am so depressed. I am taking medication. I am fine when I am at work, I am actually doing very well with my career. The weekends kill me. I am so lonely. I go to church, but I still feel alone because nearly everyone there is married. I am grateful that my daughter is still at home and I dread the day she will leave for college. I know many women who are divorced and haven’t had a date in years. I feel so alone. Is it wrong to want to have someone to share your life? Is it wrong to wish you had someone to give you a hug everyday and kiss you goodnight? How do I get past this?

I am single and lost my job due to health issues. I have about ,000 of negative credit on my credit report. I have received a ,000 donation from my church and would like to get my credit in some much needed order since my income is limited i only have credit to rely on now. My score is about 540 and i needed it to be higher ASAP to find a home for my family. I heard of a home loan for disabled individuals that i maybe eligible for. Since i will be a first time homebuyer i need to know which direction to go to get my credit in order for this transaction in about 14 months! I have paid off a few car loans after two years and small bank loans but nothing over ,000. I need some advice on how to get my credit together in 14 months or less urgently!!

I’m a pretty positive and ambitious person. I go into situations expecting the best, but most of it ends in tribulations. Seriously.

I was molested as a baby..yes a baby and later on 3 different guys. At home, school and church. One of them was arrested last year for raping and killing a teenager last year. I told my family but they wanted me to keep this a secret. It get’s weirder..but I digress.

My mom started spreading rumors about me after living with her for only a few months. This was my first time living with her at age 17. She kicked me out two days before my bday 12/17/2000 (winter in NY, yay) and tried to make me homeless by asking ppl not to let me stay with with them. I only talk to her now because of my sister..but i truly do hate my mother.

I used to be an only child..my dad decided to have kids when I was 21. So as selfish as it is I feel abandoned – my mom has replaced me with my sister and my dad with his kids. I was the love of his life. Now we hardly even talk.

I’ve been used and now I have about 30K cc debt. Because someone lied to me about their life and background and used me. So now i’m left with 90k total in debt (mortgage). I’m now 28 and was debt free until I met this U.S. Soldier. ugh!

I bought my own place at the age of 22. I’ve had to change states and within the last 2 yrs I have gone through 3 tenants. 1. was arrested for stealing from his job. 2. There was a fire which meant my tenant had to move 3. The other person just disappeared. Each time i’ve managed to get back on my feet…but this time it’s been 7 months since i’ve been paying rent and mortgage. I can’t sell because now my property value has tremendously decreased.

Funny thing is I don’t have any blemishes on my credit score. Except for high debt, but I’ve never been late on a bill. Other people also think that i’m happy but i’m not. I was suicidal before but as I got older, I’ve pushed through a lot of things. I know LIFE could be worst.

I just want to know how to cope when nothing goes right. Which obviously is everything. My life is actually worse than I mentioned.. I don’t believe in God, my reasons are obvious.

Any advice would be helpful.
Sorry about my errors.

Can a person save money, build up finances, and keep an apartment with income from a job at somewhere such as Mcdonald’s?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for more than 2 and a half years. Last year he bought an engagement ring and told me although hasnt asked me. He has had it for more than a year and I dont know what to think.

When I mention it, he tells me I am putting pressure on him but truthfully I need to know so I can decide whether or not he is serious about a future with me (although he says he is) and I certainly have tried not to put pressure on him so he doesnt think he has to be obligated to marry me. Although at the same time Im hurt that he hasnt asked me knowing full well he has had that intention but is now procrastinating (at least it seems that way) because of a certain issue (which I am explaining below). He told me he went to propose shortly after he bought it but didnt on that day…that was last May. I love him very much and want to be with him more than anything but not sure how to gage whether he is serious or just making me wait until he does everything he wants to do…which means I am left on hold and I feel extremely frustrated since I don’t want to have to put my life on hold while he makes up his mind. I want to start a family soon.
He also keeps telling me he is saving to buy a house, but whether that includes me, I do not know since he hasnt said exactly if it does.
He also uses the arguement that I wont be able to afford to pay off a mortgage with him since I usually earn considerably less and recently lost my job due to the recession but am trying very hard to find one and went to 8 interveiws in 2 days this week.
To top it all off after recently becoming a christian, he tells me he doesnt want an intimate relationship until we are married and I really don’t know what to do since that is what he believes and what I’m supposed to believe given I have been brought up that way and a christian also.
The truth is that we didnt start out that way and have tried this and found it extremely difficult but have fallen recently on that issue. Idealogy, christianity and everything else aside, we’ve had a really wonderful loving relationship before this issue arose.
Since that issue has arisen, he is now telling me he doesnt want to even kiss me since that will tempt him even more and is thinkin that if I cant take the no sex before marriage issue seriously he wont marry me since he thinks it means I’m not serious about my faith.
I feel like I’ve lost a big part of our relationship and greiving that since we have been really close but now this is turning our relationship a bit sour due to our conflicting feelings on the matter.
I am at a standstill not knowing what to think because I’m supposed to believe in this too but also see that sometimes no matter what you try to do to analyse or idealise the whole issue of sex before marriage according to christian custom, intimacy IS an important essential part of any healthy relationship. The church seems to make it like it is something to be guilty or ashamed about. But why I ask, if two people genuinely love eachother and really do want to stay together?
At least that’s how I feel at the moment and I’m really confused and hurting on the issue here. And we are not teenagers either, we are two consenting adults that are made to feel ashamed or not show any affection at church or in public. It’s seems crazy!
A large part of me feels like we’re losing a really big and special part of our relationship which gives us the chance to re-connect and share on another level beyond what words can describe…and frankly, I miss that. I also miss him putting his arms around me or knowing if he still desires me. Also what if we get married and never get that intimacy back again like we had it because of somebody’s advice?
It’s painful and frustrating because I really do love my boyfriend and trying not to be selfish. I’ve gone along with it to make him happy, thinking also it’s the right thing and we have become better friends also, but really deep down, struggle with strong feelings for him.
All this because somebody at church advised him on how we should conduct our relationship!!!! And now I cant even kiss my boyfriend to show him I love him beyond just being there for him.
So please tell me that as a christian what am I supposed to do? Because what I’m supposed to think about this, is, quite different to how I really feel, and I feel very strongly about my partner whom I desperately love very much and want to be with. We have also been come through a lot of hurdles together and still want to be together and work it out but now on the verge of breaking up.
Although I must also add that I am waiting for him to move out of his parents place as it was only meant to be for 6 months to save and pay off his debts but its now been a year and he is not in his 20′s any longer. I just want us to move forward together but it seems impossible with everybody interferring and telling him what he should and shouldnt do and how we should conduct our relationship.
His
So genuine honest answers from non-judgemental christian people would be most appreciated. Only genuine answers please!

Okay, Saturday I am invited to a baby shower for a member of the church. I am a little bothered that I got an invitation, yet, I am glad that I was invited too. This person that they are having the shower for is the pastor’s wife, who hasnt said a word to me since around the end of June. I’ve seen her at church every Sunday, yet we do not talk to each other when we are there. If I get a hello out of her, I’d be lucky. I dont think I come across to her that I dont want to talk or say hi, but it bothers me that I have to go to the shower and get something for the baby.

I am not a selfish person, but right now, money is tight and I am working a PT job. I am trying to save all the money I can so that I can pay for my mortgage at the end of the month. What would you do? Go to the shower, give a gift and move on? I am all for wishing others all the best in anything they do, its just that money is tight right now. Help!
One additional thing … it will take me an hour there and back to go to the shower. Again, I dont want to sound like a cheapskate, but I would hope they would understand if I dont go but send something in the mail.

I have extremely low self esteem. I don’t mean the "I’m ugly- compliment me" kind. I mean I’m on anti-depressants, I spend alot of time crying, think I am absolutely good for nothing kind of low self esteem.

I am gonna play the I was emotionally abused by my mother card because I was. I try to not let it affect me but it has. It’s hard to let 20+ years of emotional abuse go. I can’t avoid my mom as she is terminally ill and I believe it’s far better to be there for her. Plus, I honestly don’t think she remembers the things she’s done. It wouldn’t do any good now to bring it up anyway.

It’s affecting my marriage because I’m constantly freaking out thinking my husband is going to leave me for someone better and he’s getting tired of reassuring me he won’t.

It doesn’t help that I spent a great chunk of our marriage as a SAHM and then entered the workforce again only to be laid off when that business closed. So I decided to start my own business which he supported- reluctantly and allowed me to put all of our vehicles on the loan plus had my parents co-sign for. Unfortunately, the great recession hit and my business failed after a year. I’m okay with that part- mostly. I just wish constantly that I’d never done it. I know I can’t undo it but I can’t stop resenting myself for doing it. What bothers me about it is that I have a SBA loan to pay for now and had no job up until a couple days ago. I finally found a job but it means I will never see my husband or daughter. Plus I’ll end up seeing people that knew I had my own business and it’s very embarrassing. Partly because it failed. Partly because when it closed I told people that I had to because we might be moving due to my husband’s job. That fell through- we didn’t move and people comment on it all the time. I should mention I live in a small rural town where you would think people would be a little more understanding but they are very back stabbing and clique-ish. And to top the job part off, I hate the place I’ll be working. I know I can still look for another one but it’s taken me 6 months to find this one (small town!)

I want to be a writer but I have a HUGE fear of failure that I can’t seem to get passed. I am over weight but I’ve started to do mild to moderate exercise for about 1- 1 1/2 hrs a day. But due to being out of shape and an injury that’s still healing, it’s very slow going and I’m a results kind of person. I’m treating my depression with meds but I hate it. Counseling is out because I simply can’t afford it. Church is not an option either- hubby hates it and I go when I can but our church is in a major upheaval right now. I have no real friends (ya know the kind you say "let’s go have coffee with and talk") that I can lean on. Just a few acquaintances that I say hi to when I see them.

So my question is how can I build up my self esteem without relying on others to do it for me? I want to be a happy, better person on my own merit. I should also mention that moving is not as option as my husband has an excellent job with benefits that would be absolutely stupid to give up over my issues.
1st- I appreciate the weight loss tips but that’s not what this is about. It’s about my overall self esteem. Weight is only a part of it.
2nd- yes- I believe in God and I do pray. But I’ve studied several religions and I cannot say I am exclusively Christian especially since I do not believe everything happened in the Bible as it is because it was written by man sometimes several hundred years after the fact and man is flawed. I don’t want to turn this into a spiritual debate. I’m simply trying to head off people telling me to read the Bible. I have- it has good points in it but I also don’t believe it is the sole cure to my self esteem issues.

I’m 34, going on 35. Due to an illness, I was unable to work and hold a position that would pay for my rent and living expenses. I was struck with an illness when I was 26-27, and lasted me a long time. Last year, I have slowly recovered from my illness, and was able and lucky to get a job hear home. I am able to pay for my living expenses now, but temporarily because I’m a contractor. I wanted to save some money at home, and therefore I haven’t left home as soon as I got my first paycheck. Plus I had a loan to pay. I still have one more loan and a credit card account to pay.

I still have these two debts, but I want to leave home now because I can’t stand my parents’ characters anymore. My parents used to sell pirated souveniers. My mom always had loud arguments with my father. My father got into an affair that lasted years, and gave my mom a STD. My mom got mad, let all of her children know what happened (I was around 15-16 when this happened. My brother and sister even younger.) She never got divorced though. I confronted why she’s with my father. She said she was powerless to get a divorce.

We’ve been living here for the past 13 years. My father operated an illegal rooming house for illegal immigrants. I was mad and confronted my mother for letting this happen. She told me "So what are we going to live on?" My father also was against me dating a darker person at one time. He also got very mad when I had a black friend. And he also was against me going to a black church. I asked if he was racist recently, and he said he wasn’t. Bullshit.

Anyway, my parents got fined heavily for operating the illegal rooming house. They don’t have money to pay for the attorney, the repairs that need to be done, and not even the building taxes. They got a huge loan for the expenses related to the illegal rooming house. But since they don’t operate it anymore, they won’t be able to pay for the building taxes, the loan, and other expenses. My sister told them to sell the building a long time ago, and my father never did that. Instead, he took the money that my sister gave him (,000 to pay off the mortgage) which they couldn’t pay. Because my sister helped them, they were never able to realize that their income wasn’t not enough to pay off the bills.

I am realizing that my parents are not the people I should look up to anymore. I want to abandon them. But if I do, then they will be in a huge mess and will lose their buildings to the government due to lack of inability to pay for taxes.

Should I leave them (as I’m realizing my parents are horrible people) and let them lose everything or stay with them and help them financially because they let me stay at home when I was ill?

I am in the process of getting evicted. I owe my apartment complex 70.00. I have two kids and I have no idea what to do. I have no family here and my credit is not all that great. I went to my church and they have no money. I have called other churches and United Way. Does anybody know of a company that would at least loan me 00.00 with in the next 48 hours.
YOU PEOPLE ARE SO EVIL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW MY SITUATION! BEFORE YOU EVEN START TO JUDGE ME MY SITUATION IS NOT BECAUSE I DONT WORK CAUSE I DO. I HAVE A JOB PAYING 14.00/HR MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER(WHICH IS 3) IS SEVERLY ASTHMATIC AND IN THE PAST 3 MONTHS SHE HAS HAD 7 ASTHMA ATTACKS. CONSIDERING THAT I PUT MY KIDS BEFORE ANYTHING AND ANYONE I HAD TO TAKE OFF OF WORK STAY BY MY DAUGHTERS BEDSIDE. AND AS FAR AS FAMILY I DONT KNOW MY FATHER AND MY MOTHER IS DEAD! PLEASE DONT YOU DARE JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m 34, going on 35. Due to an illness, I was unable to work and hold a position that would pay for my rent and living expenses. I was struck with an illness when I was 26-27, and lasted me a long time. Last year, I have slowly recovered from my illness, and was able and lucky to get a job hear home. I am able to pay for my living expenses now, but temporarily because I’m a contractor. I wanted to save some money at home, and therefore I haven’t left home as soon as I got my first paycheck. Plus I had a loan to pay. I still have one more loan and a credit card account to pay.

I still have these two debts, but I want to leave home now because I can’t stand my parents’ characters anymore. My parents used to sell pirated souveniers. My mom always had loud arguments with my father. My father got into an affair that lasted years, and gave my mom a STD. My mom got mad, let all of her children know what happened (I was around 15-16 when this happened. My brother and sister even younger.) She never got divorced though. I confronted why she’s with my father. She said she was powerless to get a divorce.

We’ve been living here for the past 13 years. My father operated an illegal rooming house for illegal immigrants. I was mad and confronted my mother for letting this happen. She told me "So what are we going to live on?" My father also was against me dating a darker person at one time. He also got very mad when I had a black friend. And he also was against me going to a black church. I asked if he was racist recently, and he said he wasn’t. Bullshit.

Anyway, my parents got fined heavily for operating the illegal rooming house. They don’t have money to pay for the attorney, the repairs that need to be done, and not even the building taxes. They got a huge loan for the expenses related to the illegal rooming house. But since they don’t operate it anymore, they won’t be able to pay for the building taxes, the loan, and other expenses. My sister told them to sell the building a long time ago, and my father never did that. Instead, he took the money that my sister gave him (,000 to pay off the mortgage) which they couldn’t pay. Because my sister helped them, they were never able to realize that their income wasn’t not enough to pay off the bills.

I am realizing that my parents are not the people I should look up to anymore. I want to abandon them. But if I do, then they will be in a huge mess and will lose their buildings to the government due to lack of inability to pay for taxes.

Should I leave them (as I’m realizing my parents are horrible people) and let them lose everything or stay with them and help them financially because they let me stay at home when I was ill?

My sister has been married for nine years and has four children. They have NEVER paid rent in their entire married life! First they lived at an apartment that was free because it was owned by their church. Then they lived with my 90-year-old grandmother, never paying for anything except for food which they never shared with her. After my grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimer and got to the point that she needed extra care they moved out not wanting to put forth any effort to helping her. My mother moved out of her house so they could move in and she took care of my grandmother until she was not physically able to anymore at which point I, living 700 miles away, left my husband and job and came and took care of her. I don’t begrudge my grandmother any of that. She and I were very close and I was very glad I was able to be with her when she passed away. I’m just saying if somebody offered me a roof over my head and my children’s heads for that matter, I would be a little more appreciative than just moving out when it became difficult to take care of her. Now my mother is stuck with my grandmother’s mortgage and trying to pay her own mortgage and they won’t even offer to help her. My mother doesn’t have a lot of money she’s 62 and is living on a VERY fixed income. My sister’s husband works full time and my sister is on disability making 1200 dollars a month just from that. My husband and I are moving back into the area and want my mother to sell both houses and move in with us. She is so worried about them she doesn’t know if she wants to. I say just sell them the house for what you owe on it and leave it at that. She is still hesitant. She is worried they won’t be able to pay it. I just can’t understand where all their money goes. They don’t have any bills except one car payment. I know it is her daughter and of course she wants to take care of her, but it is obvious my mother is drowning under all this financial strain. When my mother moves in then obviously I am in a position to say something, but what? I don’t want to sound heartless as my sister has just gone through intensive chemo for colon cancer. But she has always been like this. It’s not like they hit a rough patch and need a little help they have never paid anything. I just want to scream "YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS WOMAN AND A MOTHER. STEP UP AND ACT LIKE IT!"

hey,
I have posted before about my recent girlfriend problems. I have been going out with her for about 2 years now. Click on my user name and try to read my question titiled "is it really over after 2 years?"
Basically, she a couple weeks ago, after 2 years of dating, she wants me to do a bunch of things…. start going to church with her 3 times a week, including Saturdays. She even wants me to quit my job because she won’t let me work on saturdays, as it is the day of rest and supposed to be devoted to GOD. If you remember, she goes to church on Saturdays and NOT Sundays, her religion is Adventista. Anyway, last night we had a long talk. I love her and I pretty much had to do all the compromising. She told me that she want’s to follow the 10 comandments of GOD. I told her that it’s quite o.k. with me. She then said that means no more sex until we are married. I told her "O.K." Then she told me that I can’t work Saturdays anymore because it is the day for GOD. I don’t know what is in her mind? I told her that I can’t just quit my job. I go to college and have 2 years left to graduate. How am I supposed to pay for college? I don’t get any student loans! I have a car payment, and a personal loan. Who will pay all this? I told her that I can do everything, even stop having sex until marriage, but I can’t quit my job, because no one will give money! She said to me, “I need someone who will follow ALL the 10 Commandments with me.” I asked her why she goes to church on Saturdays and not Sundays. Because I know her religion is “seventh-day Adventist” So the “seventh day of the week is SUNDAY NOT SATURDAY. She said, that I’m wrong and it Saturday that should be worshiped. She also said that all the people who go to church on Sunday are wrong and they don’t know what they are doing. Then she said “why don’t you want to follow me?” “Don’t you want to follow the word of GOD, because he will be coming back soon and taking with him to heaven only those who follow what the 10 commandments exactly.”
Then she had her pastor from her church e-mail me a script to show why you must go to church on Saturday and not Sunday.
I want to share it with all of you to see what you think. Here it is:

"Sunday is a Catholic institution…. From beginning to end of
Scripture there is not a single passage that warrants the transfer of weekly
public worship from the last day of the week to the first." Catholic
Press, August 1900
"For, since we [Catholics] deny that the Bible is the sole truth, we
can fall back upon the constant practice and tradition of the Church."
Francis Lentz, Catholic priest, 1900
"If Protestants would follow the Bible, they should worship God on the
Sabbath day. In keeping Sunday they are following a law of the Catholic
Church." Albert Smith, Chancellor of the Archdiocese of Baltimore, 1920
Even the Protestants themselves admit that Sunday observance is not
biblical:
"There was never any formal or authoritative change from the Jewish
[sic] seventh day Sabbath to the Christian first day observance…. The
[Gentiles] brought over the consciousness of various observances in the
pagan religions, preeminently the worship of the sun – a sort of Sunday
consciousness." W. Carver, professor at Southern Baptist Theological
Seminary, Louisville, Kentucky, 1940.

1. Give 10% of the money to Jesus.
2. Fix up my home church. (home church is the church that I started out at when I was a little girl)
3. I would first of all NOT quit my job. I would take vacation time to buy me a building for my business. I would open a nail/hair/ salon/clothing/shoe store for women and men. Then after that is up and running I would quit my job and dedicate my time to my business.
4. Finish college in the process of starting my own business.
5. Build my family a 5 bedroom , 3 1/2 bath home, with a gameroom, theater/media room, a pool/jacuzzi.
6. Buy 3 brand new vehicles (a SLAB for hubby, a Harley Davidson truck for both of us, and a Range Rover for me) ( if you don’t know what a slab is google slab car)
7. Pay off my parents’ mortgage and buy them a new house. (they can rent the other out or sell it)
8. Help my family members pay off debt.
9. Donate money to help children all over the world.
10. Invest the money and put up for my children’s education, and their lives.
11. Travel all around the world.
12. Try to be and live happy while serving and Thanking the Lord.
Don’t be rube or mean please….You should have better things to do then be rude.

Well this is just out of curiousity, I’m only 16 so I can’t even get an apartment. Lol. People on here are pretty mean for no reason actually, so don’t grill me for nothing.

Well my mom doesn’t even use a credit card, I’m not sure if she even has one, but she has credit. She uses a visa debit card, but she said it wasn’t a credit card. I always thought it was a credit card. We live in a house, but I always thought you had to get credit through a CREDIT card, ya know? So if you were getting an apartment, you could use your debit card? Blah, she doesn’t really want to sit down and teach me about financing and everything, the kind of info. I’m going to need to know in about two years. Lol. I’m going to ask her to get me a check card because she said I could when I got a job, which I just did about a week ago.

In childhood, she was concerned about my health and education but not really about social life. It was OK! for her that I was getting along with social outcasts who also had boring life. As long as I was "saint" and religious, going always to church this was making her happy. Any who is agnostic "considers" evil. My sister was social outcast too and my parents neither had rich social life. Even when I was 10, she put me down with words (accused) regarding me having crooked back now being overweight (but I go to gym and try to loss weight and get in shape) . I went to very good but private school and the classes are small and teachers wonderfull and statistically almost every graduate get job from school I attend. She of course prefered me to go to community college because of money and already I got a lot of financial support for first year. For next year I am gonna take priv loan, but for the first I took very small amount PLUS on her name as we agreed. Now she is mad at me
that she has to repay per moth with interest. Fine so I” subsidize her loan through my private and she won’t have to pay anything. Thanks for help! And thought that couple months ago she was worried about me not goint to much into debt when I considered on-campus housing. Mixed motions?
I got on parents onl 3800 loan and big deal. It can be paid off fast sooner or later. I did not even took on campus housing to save more money for next year and not go against their wishes as it would be hard. I love my mother but sitting with her and listening to her complaints is depressing. I really try hard but sometimes I feel she sometimes she undermine me, does not value good things I do. Help!
She also always looks at my closet and backpack though I do not like it. Later she accuse that I do not put clothes properly although because I can’t as she still does it by herself, even sometimes she does not let me do myself it instead of her. I also cannot lock my door to my room because it is inappriopriate for her. I feel little bit violated with privacy.