How would you handle this? Do you think we are wrong?
The woman is in her 50’s, she has a husband in his 50’s. They have 1 son (28) who is married w/ 2 kids. Those kids were her whole world. This woman cheated on her husband 20 some years ago and got pregnant and then had an abortion. Her husband still to this day stands by her no matter what. She has filed bankruptcy 2 times. Had numerous vehicles repossessed. She bought several cars without even asking him. She made him sell his classic car to pay her debts. They even lost their home because she cannot control her spending. (she bought it 8 years ago for 74,00 and now owes 117,000 due to refinancing) She does not work. Her husband is a trucker and wants to retire, but she wont let him because she needs the money and he will do whatever he can to please her. He is not allowed to make any decisions or she threatens to throw him out. Even her dogs come before him. For the last 18 months she has been raising her great nephew, which she gets paid to do. She says she cannot even tell him she loves him, but now wants to adopt. She used to spend all the time in the world with her 2 grand kids, but since having this kid she only wants them on Sundays for church. She rarely calls them. Her son is upset with her for want to adopt this kid and forgetting the grand kids and she thinks he is selfish and ignorant. They are no longer speaking over this adoption. She refuses to see how much this has hurt him and only considers her own feelings. Her husband even said he does want the kid, but he wont tell her no. Her son and DIL have told her numerous times to call them and she doesn’t. What do you all think about this? Does this woman need help or is it the son and DIL? Obviously the husband needs woken up because he cant do anything for himself. The son and DIL have stopped speaking and visiting since she started ignoring the kids. Also, of course the son and DIL are not perfect people either, but they both work, own their home, have good credit, etc. Their downfall would be that they don’t really associate with much of the family because the family is always bickering, even some relatives suing the grandma, etc, they chose not to be involved.
Do you think the son is wrong for not speaking to her because she wont pay attention to her own grand kids anymore?
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3 comments
GIRLXXX on March 10, 2010 at 7:00 pm
You can’t control what other people do. She chooses to be this way. Her husband chooses to stay with her. You can choose to associate with her or not. But don’t stress about it. IF it were me, I’d have my children see their grandma once a week. You don’t have to like her in order for it to be a positive thing for her to have a relationship with the grandchildren. You won’t gain anything by taking a moral stand against her. What will that accomplish?
thebitch6969 on March 10, 2010 at 7:00 pm
nope. bitchh bows down 2 u, ur fuak her
Ista on March 10, 2010 at 7:00 pm
A common symptom of Bipolar disorder is overspending. Might want to see if any of the other symptoms fit.
The rest sounds eerily familiar of Borderline Personality Disorder… Might want to take a look at that as well.
I’m not a psychiatrist, and certainly not making any attempt to diagnose someone I’ve never met based off your description. What I am saying, is sometimes it’s easier to forgive, or even just understand someone if you can understand what motivates them, or why they do what they do.
I used to have alot of anger towards my father, as he was very manipulative for a great deal of my life, he’s since mellowed, and while I haven’t forgiven him, I still love him, and understand he can’t help the way he is. That doesn’t mean I have to be his doormat, or that I continue to allow him to abuse me in that fashion, simply that I understand and accept, and can still protect myself and my offspring as needed.
I used to have alot of anger towards my brother who can be very rigid, stuck in his routine, blunt to the point of extreme rudeness with no clue as to how it affects others, and difficult to converse with as he has limited, obsessive interests. Since I’ve found out he has Asperger’s and what that means, it’s alot easier to discuss Anime for hours, and my feelings aren’t hurt when he’s insensitive, as I know he didn’t meant to hurt my feelings. My newfound ability to understand why he is the way he is, has made it so much easier for me to accept him as he is, and love him for his uniqueness. By the by, I’ve never met a more generous and caring man than my brother. That’s part of what made him so hard to understand.
If you can find a way to understand, possibly to forgive, and definitely to accept her for who she is, it’ll ease a lot of the turmoil you feel, and allow you to do what you need to do to protect yourself and your offspring.