Family, gas bill, exams, children, electric bill, your business, coursework, friends, water bill, rent, sickness, money, mortgage, break-ups, work, Arsenal losing that match . . .

The list is endless isn’t it? These thoughts frequent our minds so much that we often repeat the same thoughts we’ve had on one subject and we don’t even notice. We become experts at juggling these thoughts so that the most important ones at the moment are directed to the front of our minds for days, weeks or even months of analysing, complaining, wishing it was different and trying to find a solution as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for us, when we focus on these thoughts, our mind isn’t capable of focusing on the good parts or our lives; those tiny buds of happiness that can grow big and tall in our minds if we only poured our attention on them. God, family, friends, health, birthdays, that meal you ate last night . . . One man’s problem could be another’s blessings.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln

Usually I don’t feel comfortable reaching out for help when it comes to my private life, but in this circumstance I feel quite hopeless. Please read everything before making a proper assessment.

I’ve been married for almost 3 years now. My husband and I come from very diverse cultures. I’m 1st Generation Italian-American and my husband is an immigrant from the Philippines. I’m not quite sure how heavily culture weighs in on all of this so I thought maybe I’d mention it just in case.

When I moved in with my husband (before we were married), there was a lot of pressure by his mother for us to get married. She didn’t want her son living unmarried with someone. So to please his mother I agreed to elope in Las Vegas with him. I loved him, he loved me and I didn’t want to add any unnessesary stress on our relationship, it made his mother happy and due to that, made my husband happy.

His mother then started to push things on us. She made us buy a car prematurely when we were not ready financially for it. I felt I did not have a say since my husband would do anything she asked. When we moved to a new apartment it was her who convinced us to take on two roommates who were her friends who made our lives miserable for almost 2 years of almost 3 years of marriage, but they were friends of my husband’s mother so we were not to complain about them. My husband wouldn’t even let me have a sit down with his mother about the problems we were experiencing. His mother forced her religion and church on me and my husband and even though I am Roman Catholic and she was aware of that, she refused to respect it. My husband’s step-father would make all these radical claims that I was an atheist or agnostic to family and church members because I didn’t feel comfortable abandoning my own religion for theirs. They never apologized for it. My husband always defended them for it as well.

Then it got to the point where my husband and his mother started doing things behind my back and without consulting me first. My husband signed a ,000 car loan for my mother-in-law because she could not do it herself and even though my future in the marriage is at stake in this matter because we were planning on purchasing a house and I was planning on going back to college, I was not even let in on this matter until it was all done with. Imagine my surprise. Imagine how hurt I felt.

I’m not a perfect person mind you and I am aware that I have my own faults. I have a large amount of patience, but a bad temper. I also have known to be over-sensitive at times. I have pulled away from his family because I don’t like being judged on my religious choices. I feel very awkward around his mother and anxious on many occasions.

He is always threatening me that he is going to divorce me and find someone who can get along with his mother better. I love him very much, please understand that, but I feel as if I am third wheel to him and his mother. I feel that I have no choice or say in any matter and that I am not respected. I’m very scared because he is a good person, he has taken care of me, but he puts his mother first. I have sacrificed a lot of my own values and personal beliefs to make him and his mother happy. They seem to forget it all. When I bring it up, my husband doesn’t want to hear any of it.

What do I do? I’m quite scared and if it is me who is to blame, I want to figure out what to do to change it so I don’t ruin my marriage.

My mother was never a "motherly" type. She has never had to work my dad always did.They are very well off. I have never asked anything from her because she will not give it anyway. She is one to give to her church and put on errs to others,but as for me and my brother nothing. I have found myself in a predictament though, I have a 6 year old that I transport to school and am 6 months pregnant. Me and my husband both work. She offered to loan us money for a car as she saw our car was unfit, I drive her everywhere shopping, appts.etc. and she wanted to feel safe too.Well the next day our car blew up & I asked her about the loan she said I changed my mind. But good luck to u!I do her hair 3 times a week, even when I had been sick with morn. sickness, She is the type that buys a candy bar for my daughter then tells everyone she bought my groceries for the month! We live next door, & I’m thinking she is nuts! She forgets things & makes up things that hasn’t happened too. She’s only 57.Help?
Well now I know she is crazy. She e-mailed me to let me know that she is no longer getting my children anything because of my attitude and has taken the baby car seat back to get her money. She also informed me she is no longer available to my kids and that I need help! Oh boy…

Hey, I am 23 years old and have been married for 4 years to my high school sweetheart. We had been married since 2006. I worked at a motor home manufacturing plant for two years and ended up getting downsized. After that i started working for a painting outfit and have been with them for about two years. I was making around 14.00 dollars an hour but it was seasonal work (not much work during the winter) so we would go through some good financial times and then some tight times. but we always came out on top. We had been trying to get pregnant for a couple years since we both felt like we were at a stable enough point financially to have a child. after about 2 years of trying we decided that we probably couldn’t get pregnant and were just going to enjoy our freedom. It was at that point that we got pregnant. about 2 months into the pregnancy the economy took the nose dive and i was out of work. I spent the remainder of the next 7 months trying to find a job so that i could support my soon to be family. Needless to say it wasn’t long before savings dried up, unemployment went down because i had to renew it. We ended up having to sell the car we had a loan on, having to take out a loan to make up the difference because we were in over our heads in the car. then we lost our apartment and ended up moving in with a sister in our church. we have been living here for about a 3 months and its hard living out of a small bedroom. an just last month i got a job (finally) working for a home improvement center near where i live. it pays 9 dollars an hour and its only 30 hours a week. My wife and i sat down and did the math and at minimum i would have to work 40 hours a week every week to just barely make the minimum for living costs if we were to move out. And 2 weeks ago we were blessed with a handsome healthy baby boy. But the burden of my job as the husband is starting to wear me down. I know i have to work to support my family so there is no way im gonna not work for the home improvement place. but at the same time it wont really get me anywhere because the pay and hours are so low. I looked into going back to school to get a degree in something. but it did not play out as a option for us. i would have to go to college for a year at least just to qualify for some of the programs. then another 2 years at least to get the degree in what i was looking for. And going to school wouldn’t pay the bills for us to live on our own. So here i am writing this to you guys and gals to get a little advice or encouragement. Its starting to wear both my wife and i down physically and emotionally. We don’t want to be living with someone else for much longer but we cant get by on our own. Thanks for any help or advice.
~Dan

My husband and I recently married in March. We moved out of our apartment in hopes of buying a home. Only to find out that we are considered "punk kids" in the finance industry! We were considering buying a motor vehicle and making it our home until we could save a more substantial down payment. Is it possible to save and own a "parked" motor home? What are the downfalls/gains? Have I lost my mind?

I DISCOVERED A NEW BIBLE TODAY!

I loved reading Bush 12:13:7, verse 12 where it said, "Thou shalt speakith multiple lies to send the sons of your loins to their deaths in a foreign land that posed no threat to our great country of America.

I also loved reading Cheney 31:9:2, verse 25 where it said, "Thou shall use torture on vulnerable people because it is fun & it pleases the right wing god of hatred, violence and vengeance."

My latest favorite is Sanford 11:7:5, verse 8 where is said, "My ‘rod’ & my ’staff’ they comfort me" especially when I take it to Argentina to use on a hot chick.

I have decided to become a right wing Biblical Scholar. I started my right wing journey of hatred, anger, division, racism, bigotry & hypocrisy by becoming a regular listener of right wing radio and Fox News.

I now know that Reagan is my god and his disciples are Hannity, Beck, OReilly, Limbaugh, Savage and other ‘holy’ men who worship Reagan. Every evening I will get on my knees and face westward to pray to where Reagan is buried and recite prayers praising Reagan for causing 10.1% unemployment, exploding the national debt 400%, destroying the middle class, deregulating business allowing the savings and loan industry to steal 800 billion from hard working Americans, and killing 241 US servicemen & women in Lebanon and then cutting and running allowing the terrorists to win.

Being a right winger, I found out I don’t need a brain any longer because all I have to do is repeat what I am told by Hannity, Beck & Limbaugh. Since I don’t need a brain I am going to have 99.9% of my brain removed. To ensure I will be able to remain in my new Church of Hate I’m going to even have the remaining 0.1% removed too, leaving me with just a brain stem so I can breathe.

To make sure I stay in the right wing I am going to have my heart removed, since compassion, empathy and consideration for my fellow man is not needed in the right wing Church of Hate, because I will pray to capitalism and for corporate profits. I will pray extra hard for insurance companies to make even bigger profits by denying care to the sick and dying.

I will make these prayers to the right wing god Reagan, who believed the poor were deadbeats, losers and homeless because they wanted to be. I will pray to be able to continue Reagan’s beliefs that no one should be their brother’s keeper and to screw the homeless, even though 25% of the homeless are veterans of wars.

Amen, and amen…

Wow, it is so much easier now that I am a right wing extremist. I don’t have to think. I don’t have to do any research. I don’t have to try to search for the truth. I don’t have to do anything but be a dry sponge soaking up every world of hatred and racism I hear from right wing radio and Fox News. Yeeeeeehawwww!

Note: Since writing the above I discovered that since I don’t have health insurance I can’t get the operations to have my brain and heart removed. I am going to have to try to think stupid and reject all truths and reason until I can find a way to destroy my brain. Maybe I’ll do it the Beck and Bush way by becoming an alcoholic. Bush & Beck were both drug users and alcoholics almost all their lives and it is obvious their brains are severely damaged. Even Limbaugh is a drug addict so I guess that is why he is able to spew out idiotic hatred so easily.

Family, gas bill, exams, children, electric bill, your business, coursework, friends, water bill, rent, sickness, money, mortgage, break-ups, work, Arsenal losing that match . . .

The list is endless isn’t it? These thoughts frequent our minds so much that we often repeat the same thoughts we’ve had on one subject and we don’t even notice. We become experts at juggling these thoughts so that the most important ones at the moment are directed to the front of our minds for days, weeks or even months of analysing, complaining, wishing it was different and trying to find a solution as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for us, when we focus on these thoughts, our mind isn’t capable of focusing on the good parts or our lives; those tiny buds of happiness that can grow big and tall in our minds if we only poured our attention on them. God, family, friends, health, birthdays, that meal you ate last night . . . One man’s problem could be another’s blessings.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln

…Like does it depend on
Or does it matter where you are? LIke in a church a good chance people can be trusted there. IN the subway or in a homeless shelter maybe not like in america what are the chances you will find an honest trustworthy person is it like 30 percent or is it 2% or 90% LIke here is 20 bucks loan mail it back in under a month you ask 1 million americans to do it how many would pay you back? Are white people more likely to steal and keep the loan? are Indians more likely to honor it?

I need to work to help financially support my family of 5 people (my husband, 3 sons & me). My problem is that I can’t afford to pay for the gas to get to & from a job until I get my 1st paycheck. My husband has been 100% disabled for the past 6 years, I have to stay home to care for him, my husband just underwent major surgery to repair 2 aneurisms that were both about to burst, the surgery cost over one million dollars of which Medicare paid 97%. We have no money at all to pay toward our remaining balance because after we pay rent, electricity, car payment for our only car, car insurance, furniture payment, loan payment, & internet connection, we’re literally broke. Our church buys our groceries & our children’s schools buy their clothes, shoes & school supplies because we have no money left.

i also need a car so badly because without a car im having trouble getting to work, school, gym, church and friends!! When i go to work 4am i have to wake my dad up to take me then again he has to come pick me up, its just a hassle and i hate bothering people even if that dad, mom, wife(if i had one), friend’s, no matter who it is i dont like asking people for help. I used to have a car but when my sister got a new car last year my parents ended up selling mine and said theyll get me one later, but now financially they cant afford another car and i know if i keep forcing them they will buy me one to keep me happy but i cant do that to them and put them in more debt. I’m only 20, i go to school full time and i’m working like a lotta other kids now a days anyways. I dont get financial aid, scholarships or anything, so i pay for my classes out of my pocket same with books, bills so on. All i work is 24hrs every 2 weeks i want to get more hours but since i dont have a car its hard. Everytime i try to apply for a loan no bank of lender qualifies me because i dont make 00/month. Im trying to get a loan so i can pay of my debt (00) and buy a used car for like (1500-2000 or less)…Please help if me find someone or some place that can lend that money. I sure will do payments every month without any questions asked!! I just need to find a place that will qualify me..Please help, please!!
Thank you so much..God Bless you!!

I am a teacher. I was reading my union newspaper and I see a lot of mortgage/lending companies that offer such things as 100% financing and low interest rates. Is this something worth me considering to buy a home?

Also, I am married and my husband works as well (he’s not a teacher). I do have student loan obligations and a few credit card bills and little savings. We are currently trying to better our financial situation and save more.

We are moving to a new place in the next 8 months (rent or buy- whatever we are able to do at the time). If we rent, I know the payment will increase by 300-400 a month since we are getting a bigger apartment. If we can get a mortgage, then I really don’t know….. Anyway, help me out?

For the last several months I have seen Y/A liberals pick McCain apart and broadcast lie after lie about the man. Liberals say that he is too liberal to be a republican, then you say he is just like Bush.

But not once has any one of you given an example of what Obama accomplished in his political career.

Let me start:

After Harvard Law School he became a lawyer and only practiced for two years before he entered politics. In his two years as a lawyer he tried just 14 cases. All of them law suits against the government. And all to keep Affirmative Action alive and well

Obama was a community activist. He passed out flyers and incited unrest

In the Illinois legislature, he voted ‘present’ more than yea or nay combined. So he was either the most uninformed man in the room or he just didn’t care enough to vote. Either way its a disgrace

He’s been a senator for 143 days and has nothing to show for that either

He wrote two totally racist books

He was involved in a sleazy 14 million dollar land deal that got him a million dollar house for a few hundred thousand on a loan setup by Countrywide which never had to be repaid.

He sat in a church for 23 years that preached hatred for "whitey" and "God damn America

He refuses to salute the flag of our country but he has no problem calling terrorists "freedom fighters

This list can go on.

Now liberals it is your turn to come to the mans defense.

And the one rule here is it has to be something Obama has accomplished. No bashing or even praising of McCain.

This moment is reserved for the Obamabots to actually show they can play by the rules.

THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT

To Stamp Collector 32

I said to list what he has accomplished. You listed nothing except the general rhetoric of he did alot. This is a chance for detail. You have the stage and the conseratives are listening. Now how about some details.
to heavenlyapprentice

You have the correct idea and listed many things I will check out. I do work from facts.

However you mentioned Earn Income Credit. This type of program was started in 1975 under President Ford (Republican) while Obama was still in high school.

Family, gas bill, exams, children, electric bill, your business, coursework, friends, water bill, rent, sickness, money, mortgage, break-ups, work, Arsenal losing that match . . .

The list is endless isn’t it? These thoughts frequent our minds so much that we often repeat the same thoughts we’ve had on one subject and we don’t even notice. We become experts at juggling these thoughts so that the most important ones at the moment are directed to the front of our minds for days, weeks or even months of analysing, complaining, wishing it was different and trying to find a solution as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for us, when we focus on these thoughts, our mind isn’t capable of focusing on the good parts or our lives; those tiny buds of happiness that can grow big and tall in our minds if we only poured our attention on them. God, family, friends, health, birthdays, that meal you ate last night . . . One man’s problem could be another’s blessings.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln

A week ago, my parents packed a couple of suitcases and moved from here on the east coast out to Las Vegas. Something happened – something gambling-related I suspect – and now they are stranded on the street in Vegas with no money. My brothers and I sent what we could, which wasn’t much (definitely not enough for a hotel room) and now we are all wrung completely dry. They are the black sheep of the families they came from so it’s hard to get even relatives to help. My brothers and I have a history of having to borrow money from friends to fix their mistakes and now none of us have anyone who can/will lend us anything. The American Red Cross wouldn’t help because they aren’t victims of a natural disaster. The church near them directed them to a homeless shelter, but the nearest shelters are too far from the hotel they just left for them to walk to. while they have a few dollars for food, there is no money for bus or cab fare. Besides, the shelters are in parts of town where they’re likely to get mugged and if their cell phones get taken, we’ll never know what’s happening to them.

My father is a Vietnam vet, but the nearest military base is an air force base (he was in the army) and they told him there was nothing they could do. He has a pension coming, but it isn’t due to come in for weeks. He has used his vet status to take out loans from the military in the past, but he can’t get anymore because he currently has too many out. We tried to get them a payday loan online, but got rejected because we all have terrible credit.

I am desperate. If I really can’t do anything, my parents will be alone and vulnerable on the street for two weeks. My father might make it okay, but my mother is 67 years old and not in the best of health. I can’t stand the thought of her shivering and starving on the street. I really don’t know where else to find answers for this anymore. They’re both in their late 60s and I’m terrified that they will die on the street some way or another.

Please, does anyone have any answers? What else can I do?
If I could get them, I would be on a plane right now. Unfortunately my brothers and I are rather poor and have already sent what little we could.

I will try my relatives anyway, because we’re desperate, but I’m not optimistic because my parents are really good at burning bridges.

About two hours ago i posted a question HOW DO I GET MY LIFE BACK????? i am in debt up to my eye balls with pay day loans I am a single mom and no help is in my future but BUT I HAVE GOD! I just came home from church and i had a sense of peace in my heart, GOD told me HE would take care of my needs it is promised in the bible then I saw ON MY questions a man named DANNY R said he would loan me money wow GOD works FAST SO DANNY R IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE PLEASE email me i would pay double that is NO problem.. and if anyone reading this knows how I can get ahold of DANNY R please send me a message BLESSING TO YOU ALL

Family, gas bill, exams, children, electric bill, your business, coursework, friends, water bill, rent, sickness, money, mortgage, break-ups, work, Arsenal losing that match . . .

The list is endless isn’t it? These thoughts frequent our minds so much that we often repeat the same thoughts we’ve had on one subject and we don’t even notice. We become experts at juggling these thoughts so that the most important ones at the moment are directed to the front of our minds for days, weeks or even months of analysing, complaining, wishing it was different and trying to find a solution as soon as possible.

Unfortunately for us, when we focus on these thoughts, our mind isn’t capable of focusing on the good parts or our lives; those tiny buds of happiness that can grow big and tall in our minds if we only poured our attention on them. God, family, friends, health, birthdays, that meal you ate last night . . . One man’s problem could be another’s blessings.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln

My father is a good man. He earns a salary, religiously attends church, and helps out with friends and family. He has a couple hobbies that besides bringing in change is pure decent enjoyment. One particular hobby is purchasing vehicles, fixing them up, and re-selling them. This is where my problem with him resides.

He and my mother have been friends with one lady for a long period. My parents have a stable financial life, but she doesn’t. She recently bought a car from my parents, and since she could not afford ba loan because of bad credit, they took out a 00 loan in their name for her. She made a promisorry note, stating that she would make all the monthly payments on time. She has made every payment on time, and she has never missed one. But my argument is not with her, but instead with her son.

She’s of old age probably 60’s and she has one son who has a colorful record. He’s in his late 30’s and he has gone through living off of her to trying to have her arrested, and then being arrested, for domestic disturbance and for drug possesion. Currently he is on good terms with his mom right now, so she’s allowing him to stay with her. She allows him back in because according to her "this guy is her son and she is his mother so she can’t turn her back on him".

But here is where the problem is. A couple years back this friend sold her house to my parents, who renovated the inside and outside with their own money and thier hands (they did 76%) of the work. The women came to my parents house when they were almost done with the rennovations and asked if her son and his girlfirend could stay in their for a few days. She had bought a trailer and did not have enough space for them both. My instincts told me this was not a good thing, and I argued against it. I did not like what this friend had asked from my parents. If she thought she was doing a motherly thing by seeking a place for her son, it should have been in the comfort of her home, not the home my parents bought. Since my parents thought it was only going to be a few days, they did not make out a lease, but abided under an oral agreement. After a few days had passed my parents asked them to leave. However the son and his girlfriend refused to leave and said that they were going to stay there for a few months. According to them this house belonged to the son, because it was originally his mothers. But his mother SOLD it to my parents along with an ongoing family dispute. My parents had to take them to court to make them leave, and what hurts me the most was not the situation itself but the comments that this friends son and his girlfriend hurled at my parents in court, This sickening couple said that my parents had promised this and done that and then the girlfriend even said my father tried to make advances on her. My father and mother were always together when they were at that house. They were never apart, I know my father I am with him 95% of the time, he is a good man. My parents’ friend, the guys mother did side with my parents at the court case and offered herself as a witness to help my parents with case..

Now currently I am seeing deja vu. My father who has finished work on a vehicle wants to sell it. He was looking for a buyer, and with upcoming land taxes he wanted to find a quick buyer. Thier friend came over a few days later and said wanted to know if my dad had a vehicle that her son can buy. After the last mishap, I would think my father would be against any sale or legal dealing with the friends son. I wanted to know the friends son’s additional court history, and it was an frightening sight. I Checking the court files I found out her son has already tried to sue two companies this year.

To me the idea of my Dad selling this vehicle to this friends son is way past ridiculous. He still wants to sell the car to this guy after I told him about his past: the same guy who took advantage of him, lied about him, tries to make a living off of lawsuits, and he wants to sell the car to him?

I a future law student (fall) and I know that this friends son could sue us for so many things about the car. I drove this week and had it inspected, the mechanic said it was in good shape and is running smoothly. So I know the car is a good deal, but you could do something to the vehicle and claim the owner had sold it to him in that state. And based on the courtfiles, he has made past statements. I am trying to talk my Dad out of this, and he mentioned that he would get the buyer to sign a best as warranty or something along the lines of that. What that means is that if something is wrong with the car in the future, the seller is not at fault. But I can;t believe that would work too well in a legal situation. Because you can always say that the seller was not honest about the sale, claiming the "Buyer Beware clause".

I know that I am going to get into a big argument with my Dad. He is in Canada for a few days and will be back on Frida
My Dad will be back in on Friday, so I have three days to find a buyer for the car. Am I wrong to object, to refuse the sale.

Does anyone know of any state or federal laws–or court rulings for that matter–which relate to the notion of tithing 10% of ones income to their church? Specifically those that might apply to the following hypothetical situation:

A member of a family is required to pay monthly supervision fees to the department of corrections, as part of their probation arrangement.
After tallying up total income, subtracting rent, all utility bills, minimum payments on loans and credit cards, and accounting for the 10% tithe for religious purposes, the family does not have enough money left to fulfill the court obligations.

Does the court have the authority to order the family not to pay their tithe? Does the court have the authority to order the family to default on a loan or fail to pay rent, to meet the obligation?

Seeking specific laws, statutes, or court rulings, please. Opinions, while nice, are not what I have in mind.

Hello- I am a single mom with 4 daughters (my oldest is my foster daughter who is 16, and I have a 16, 14, and 8 year old as well). I was laid off from my job as a Sr. Loan Processor and have been looking non-stop for work. I do get 500 child support and 500 foster support, but my rent is 1650.00 and my bills are stacking up! I have been going to school full time at ashford university (online) and am trying to get a BA in business managmnet to ensure a better job in the future. I am so stressed trying to come up with money to pay my rent and for gas to drive the kids to school and food for these girls, that I have no idea how I will be able to get the kids anything they need, much less Christmas presents! I am not able to get unemployment because i was 1099′d and can not get cash aid or food stamps because my support is so high. Luckily, I had some savings that was able to help with my rent and now it is all gone. I have negative 19.00 in my bank account and less than a dollar to my name. I have used everything (mostly on my gas and food). I have asked my church for help with Christmas, but I am not sure what they will do. I have been selling misc items on craigslist and don’t have much more to sell! I will be getting my support on the first and will sell anything I can to come up with the rest of my rent, if possible. I have an interview set up for next week for a processing job, and a couple interviews making min wage. I am really praying for the processing job because that would pay my bills – but anything would be better than nothing. I know that when I get a job it will take me several paychecks to catch up on my utilities (that are all behind), my car payments (that are 2 months behind), my car insurance (that has now lapsed), etc, and I know there is no way I will have any money to buy presents for the girls! I am in Southern Orange County and willing to babysit, clean, run erronds, shop, organize, wrap presents, or do any type of office work for money or presents for my girls. If you know of a job I can do for you or someone, or know of a good possition in a company please let me know. I have been doing home loans and processing them for 7 years. I am also a notary public. My girls really need and want for Christmas- shampoos, razors, socks, shoes, clothes, make-up, and Jackets. Also, if anyone has any ideas of a program that can help me please let me know. I would also like to ask for prayers for me and my girls. Thank you!

My finance and I got engaged last weekend after being together for six years. I am going into my second year of teaching and have a decent savings. He is finishing his last year of college and has little to no savings. We are not anticipating financial help from either of our families., so basically the wedding spending is on us. Or rather, me. We’ve discussed several options, but in the long and short of it, my fiance said he is going to leave the decision making to me because the money we’d be using is in my possession. We originally planned on a 1.5-2 year engagement, but have been discussing Fall 2010. His grandfather has leukemia and has requested we marry before he dies. (Sigh.) So that is another aspect we are trying to factor in. I am frustrated that we are in this position where I will be paying for our wedding. I am not sure how I will feel about it in the future, and I don’t want to feel resentful, esp. starting off our marriage. We have agreed that if I do end up paying for the wedding, that we will BOTH be contributing to replace the money we used once he is employed after graduating. Here are some ideas we have thought of:

-proceeding with Fall 2010, using a combination of my funds and perhaps taking out a loan (which I think is not such a good idea…why take out the loan when you don’t need to?)

-proceeding and having a simpler wedding
(We just found out today that even getting a church is going to cost around 1,000, which I am blows me away!)

-waiting the extra year so that my fiance can also contribute more

I’m not sure if there are other options, and I’m not sure what kind of consequences each choice will have. Any ideas or enlightenment on the situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

My fiance and I have been engaged for a year and a half now and we’ve just started to seriously discuss the planning aspects of our wedding. We wanted to enjoy the engagement phase for awhile before really tackling this issue as well as have some time to start saving for our life together. Neither of us really wants to do a big, fairytale wedding – we’re both very casual people who don’t feel very comfortable in formal settings. It’s not that money is an issue or anything; we aren’t rich by far but we have great credit if we wanted to take out a loan, and my father has been offering to pay for it anyway. I just can’t seem to get the motivation to do a "big church wedding" with a fancy reception – it seems like so much work and so much waste just for one simple day.

I feel like just having a small ceremony with everyone I love around me, hell maybe just in a backyard somewhere in jeans and t-shirts, would be completely preferable to a day of exhaustion and anxiety all the while squeezed into an uncomfortable white dress that’s most likely only going to make me look fatter, lol. My entire family is already aware that I’m not very "religious" in the sense that I strongly dislike the religion I was raised to follow. They’re also aware my fiance isn’t very religious either. I kind of feel like if I’m not going to do the church thing, why should I have to spend the day dressed up and miserable? I’m that girl who never liked to even wear skirts. I was raised with a little brother, lots of guy cousins, and a lot of time bonding with dad doing tomboy things.

Will my family support my decision? I have every intention of including everyone who wants to come, I just don’t want to go the traditional road. I can’t see spending so much of anyone’s money, even if it’s not mine, on something I don’t even really want a part of for myself. Do you have any suggestions for how to make them feel more included in a less formal setting? All of the other married young people in my family had huge weddings in beautiful settings. I’m already the black sheep but I don’t want to completely alienate myself.

I am able to take public transportation to and from work/school. But on the weekends and at certain times, public transportation can be very unreliable. I am a senior in college and looking for a new job but a lot of the jobs I find are not accessible by public transportation. My mother does not drive and I think she is afraid to. She managed to get her driver’s license somehow but I don’t trust her behind the wheel at all. (And she probably doesn’t trust her self either). She does not mind taking the bus everywhere. On the weekends, she stays home the entire time besides getting a ride to church. I think we really need a car at least for the weekends, grocery shopping, etc. I don’t have the cash but I have 0% APR with my credit card until next year. I am hesitant to use that because I already have credit card debt that I am trying to get rid off in addition to the student loans I’ll have to pay soon. I know my mother has at least some money or at least the means to get financing. She helped another relative with bad credit get a car. I’ve asked her to help me buy a car for the both of us but she either ignores me or gets upset about how she won’t buy me a casket. (The car would be the casket.) I am thinking of buying a car on my own but I’m not sure if it’s worth it. I don’t really know how to choose a decent car. Parking can be expensive at school. But I feel like a car would be very useful. I’m 22 and I have a feeling another reason my mom doesn’t want me to have a car is because she thinks I would have too much freedom to just go out when I want to.

nowadays want to act like overexposed movie stars
especially girls cant they just act like themselves and wear immodest clothes and after that be really mean to others who are more simple

why cant everybody just be themselves and be fun and differant from each other

i wish i lived in a place where i could just enjoy life without having to think twice about how i look and coping up with the latest fashion
and on top of that peer pressure, bullies, the popular girls posing all the time and acting like their models

i think mans purpose was very simple but humankind just wrecked it with mortgage, fashion etc etc

wat about caring 4 earth and more importantly one another

going to church alone wont help us we actually hav to DO the stuff that is gd rite???

Probably an individual, changing "matter of heart", but concerning Scripture – Torah, can I charge interest, Usury?

I like to loan money to needy strangers at up to 6% Interest, but I’m very concerned about Scriptures & Torah & other references concerning charging interest (knowing it CAN be a sin, & I’m not supposed to do it to fellow church members or people in hardship & such).

In my heart, I think of them as needy, though they must be surviving stably enough to convince the small loan micro finance I use, so I guess they must be good-enough for the daily food, drink, shelter, clothing, yet in my heart I think of them as needy or in hardship.

In my heart, I don’t really think of them as "strangers" though I don’t know them & expect to never meet them in this life, plus I don’t think of not-Christians as strangers or anything bad really.

I’m very interested in references, quotes, along with opinion.

Thank you for any good help

help
anyone know a name of a nice and good lawyer in ashland kentucky… who can uncover the funds my husband is hiding …anyone know a name of a nice and good lawyer… he is trying to cheat us out of child support and marital assets by lying ..he is evil!!!! lol
he owns 100 percent of a corporation but claims he gets nothing.. even though i found online that the business does 3-5 MILLION a year in sales…
my bathroom is duct taped i have two pair of pants my daughters shoes are shot.. ceiling fans broken house is horrible..leaking .. he has a shop with three nice bathrooms in it alone. he is using for a tax write off..he lives there. forget everything else he has and is hiding…he goes to california a lot. and does who knows what.. his shop is there
he made me sign a loan for a half million dollars ..took all the money every thing.. and never let me see it and spent it ..i never saw where it went ..he is an evil alcoholic man.. who is very believable when he tries to act sweet and nice.. the other day on way to church he stopped by and called me a fu@@Bch and a fu Wh5** in front of my daughter… then went to catholic church and acted nice..
he has never lived with us and rarely even sees our daughter ,7 who he claims he loves but really doesn’t..cause never has even took her one place alone or even babysat her so i could go somewhere ever..he says i don’t need to go anywhere or do anything..he even refuses to have relations because that is against god so we never do that….. i should just sit home and pray because all that matters is getting into heaven then he goes where ever he wants i usually see him for a few min once or twice a week.. just stops by for a few min.. that’s all.. screams and yells and throws things..i think he has wet brain from all the alcohol…HELP i am afraid of this man

Seriously…walk the walk. Why should I support YOUR church or YOUR charities?

When it comes time to fill out your tax return, skip that mortgage deduction and notify the county that you’ll be relinquishing your homestead exemption. Otherwise nonhomeowners will be subsidizing your house.

Own a business? Give up any local, state or federal tax breaks, and don’t even think about a below-market-rate loan backed by the government. Why should I pay for your business? If I like your business, I’ll shop there, thank you very much.

You will cheerfully pay more for food, because you won’t want to benefit from farm subsidies.

And when your kids are ready for college, if they choose a state school, pay out-of-state tuition. Skip the applications for any financial aid funded by the government.

So…will y’all walk the walk and get this evil out of your life? Or are you hypocrites who like to talk a big game, but won’t actually play by your rules?
How is farming not a private business? Doesn’t the farm bill intervene in private business so you can have dirt cheap hamburgers? That IS indeed government control of private industry. Education…government control of an industry. Below market loans? Government intervention in private business. Sigh….

My husband has an 11 yr. with his ex wife they share custody, they have remained civil with eachother. In the past he has loaned her movies and we have borrowed movies but I want it to stop. He borrowed a carpet shampoo cleaner from her after I said I would personally pay the to rent one myself..it caused a big fight as I said you need to cut the strings from the ex wife. Don’t tell me I am jealous or insecure, it has nothing to do with that..when you get divorced and have kids together all the communication should be with your joint custody child, no reason to give them things, loan, or borrow things from them, especially if the NEW wife has told you she doesn’t like it. Yesterday the ex’s other daughter called her step sister that lives with both familes wanting her to go to the ex’s house and take some laundry off the clothes line because it was raining. We both agreed not to, but then he did it with his dauther on the way home from church. I am very upset, do i have the right

I’ve recently become interested in the possibiltiy of buying a houseboat in Amsterdam and subdividing it into two or more vacation rental apartments. I found some private listing and the cost, depending on the individual houseboat, isn’t totally prohibitive. My main question is how do I find a reputable realty company or broker in another country (specifically Amsterdam, Holland)? And do I apply for financing in my own country, the country of the purchase, or some other type of financial institution? Thank you in advance for any helpful info!

I believe I am a typical 33 year old, married male, who earns a decent living and manages/invests my money well, i think, but I am not 100% sure.  Most articles and research I see highlights either the super rich or people who have tanked.

I make between 150k and 185k p/year depending on bonuses.  My pay has risen sharply over the past 5 years with some promotions and I’ve increased my investments along the way.  Here is a high level breakdown of my financial situation:

Debt:

22k school loans (combined wife and mine into single low interest loan)

Home – owe 350k on a home worth about 420k.  I pay an additional mortgage payment per year automatically by spreading that payment out into 12 monthly payments.

Auto – owe about 2500 on a 2004 Durango.  I pay 0 per month so I am almost done with that.  I plan to continue to dump 0 per month into an account after this car is paid off.  The hope is to drive this car for 3-4 more years and use the money from that fund to buy a new, more energy efficient car, using cash.

No other debt

Account balances:

20k emergency fund in Ally Bank savings account.  I place 0 dollars per month automatically in this account each month.

10k in liquid savings account.  I put left over money manually into this account monthly.  I try to keep this at 10k at all times.

100k in 401k all invested in Fidelity 2040 target fund.  I now max 401k each year.  My company doesn’t do a match.  They dump profit sharing into the 401k yearly regardless of if I invest into the account or not.

11k in Traditional IRA all invested in Fidelity 2040 target fund.  I now max this out at 5k each year with monthly automatic payments.

1k in newly opened Traditional IRA I opened for my wife.  I plan to max this out now yearly at 5k and this is also invested in Fidelity 2040 target fund.

5k in 529 college fund invested in growth strategy fund in Illinois Bright Start fund.  I automatically invest 0 per month into this account.

Donations:

I donate about 3k to church tithes yearly (I should do better here)

Other than that, that is my financial situation.  I spend just about everything else per month on entertainment, food, bills, etc. for my wife, myself, and two year old daughter.  We plan on one more child and other than adding an additional 0 to another 529, my current financial plan would stay the same.

Other than maybe some better budgeting to leave some money for some short term investing, is there anything else I should be doing?  Anything I am doing I shouldn’t be doing?  I know Target fund approach seems lazy but I work and travel a lot and just don’t have the time to micromanage my portfolio.

From goals perspective, I want a few simple things.

1. Retire early if possible
2. Pay for some or all of kids college
3. Pay for daughters wedding

Again, most investment advice doesn’t seem to be geared towards someone like me so any advice is appreciated.  I just don’t want to "think" I am doing ok if I could be doing something better.
Thanks for the candid feedback Steven. I don’t disagree with anything you said. I can definitely do more with my income. I think I should hit up a financial advisor to dig even deeper and get me on the path you outlined below.